i h**king hate stuart little

stuart little & the governments problem with him

i am a tax collector. i work for some whack ass capitalist building called "Trump Tower" and every once in a while i go out to collect money for oppar trump. 

i am set out to collect some taxes ^w^ and i notice that a document has said that a man by the name of stuart little has not paid his taxes in 20 years. "i should pay him a visit." i think, and i grab my papers to leave. when i begin the walk to my car, i hear panting. i turn around to see mr trump running towards me, like in "Get Out." He halts and says 

"don't. visit. that. fucking. mouse." he says in sharp breaths. 

"what do you mean? a m-mouse!?" i stuttered. 

he looked up at me with a painful look in his eyes. "he's not just a normal mouse, he's made of pure evil." 

i snort. "mr trump, i know you've seen some whack ass things, but that is the most ridiculous thing i've heard." i burst into a laughing fit "a....a rat!!!!!" i say in between laughs.

donald bursts into tears and stumbles back into the building. i later receive an email from mr trump. 

"please don't visit him, you're the only employee that doesn't piss me off.

sent from Donald's Texas Instruments Calculator 2007 Limited Edition."

"he's out of his mind" i think to myself as i'm driving to stuart's address. 

"you have arrived at your destination." Siri says (male australian accent ^w^) 

i look around. this doesn't really look like a house, it's an alley. i hear some loud ass rodent screeches coming from the end of the alley, weird. i begin my walk down the alley, and the screeches keep getting louder. i'm actually so confused. i look downwards, and see an obviously chewed out hole in the side of the building. 

i crouch down and read the chicken scratch handwriting on the door 

"leave me alone unless youre from grindr." i let out a frightened breath. 

i tap on the door, after five minutes, he answers. a small white mouse dressed in a red sweatshirt. 

"sorry i was jacking off lol" he says in a dazed voice. he snaps and says "wait you aren't gene!" and slams the door. 

i tap on the door again and he answers. "fuck do you want!?" he roars. 

i didn't know what to say.....

"m-mister little? it says in these documents that you haven't paid your taxes in 20 years. i'm here to collect the taxes, if you have them." i say in frightened breaths. 

"i have the money, i just don't want to give it to your crustass. adios bitch." he sprints out of the door and rushes away in a remote control red convertible. he hits a girl on her bike and she falls. he proceeds.

i get curious and decide to take a peek into stuart's uhhhh house (???? hole????).

when i stick my head in, i see 30 cum towels on the floor, a corkboard with photos of numberous men (titled grindr dates ive raped and murdered) i'm horrified with what i see, but i can't look away. hours later, i hear little footsteps that belong to stuart. i turn around, and see his red eyes in the darkness of the night. the last thing i saw was this fucking mouse jump on me. 

he proceeded to drive all over my dead body and then teabag it. the end.