Ben's Ex-Girlfriend (Parks and Rec | Ben and Leslie)

Chapter 16: Binder Wars

At Chris's Office

Leslie walks into Chris's office and is not at all surprised to see Amy in the room with Chris and Ben. At this point, it feels like Leslie is trapped in some kind of nightmare where Amy is already in the room whenever she enters. This just enforces the idea in Leslie's head that Amy is somehow related to either Satan or Voldemort. Probably both. She thinks to herself.

"Leslie Knope. Welcome. Welcome. Have a seat." Leslie gives Chris a small smile, not really feeling his cheerfulness at the moment. She didn't even dare look at Ben right now, too afraid that Amy would suddenly blurt out that Ben was dating Leslie. She takes an empty chair at the small table in the middle of Chris's office. She looks over at Amy and gives her small nod.

"Last night, I had an amazing idea." Chris begins, looking excitedly at the faces around the small table. "I thought, I should ask Amy to plan the Parks Department Employee-Appreciation Barbecue this year!" He looks at Amy and gives her two thumbs up. Amy smiles widely and returns a thumbs up to Chris. "So, I called her up and she agreed."

"Wait, what's happening?" Leslie is clearly not happy to hear this. She always planned this event since the year she joined the Parks Department. Always.

"Well, Amy is a wonderful events planner. And since she's free, she is very much happy to help us out. Plus she gets to spend more time in City Hall. Maybe I can have her share a desk with Ben." Chris says, obviously still trying to get Ben and Amy to spend more time together. "Right, Ben?"

Ben had hoped that he wouldn't need to contribute to this discussion. He smiles awkwardly unable to find the words to begin with. "Uh." He crosses his arms, stares at a far corner of the room and pretends to be in deep thought. "Um. I think..."

"I'm sorry, Chris." Leslie cuts in, unable to wait for Ben's answer. "But I always plan the Parks Department Employee-Appreciation Barbecue. Have you not heard about the 'Leslie Knope Employment Enjoyment Summerslam Grill Jam Fun-splosion' program that we have every year during this event?" Leslie gives him a look of disbelief, "I mean, it's only the best thing about this event and you can ask everyone and they will all agree."

"I'm sorry, Leslie. I'm sure that it's a really fun program, but I think this year, we should try something different."

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Cut to One-on-One Interview with Leslie:

"The last time someone tried something different in one of these events, ten people had to be rushed to the hospital." Leslie holds up both hands to show ten fingers for emphasis. "Although, technically, it was because raccoons had somehow crashed the party and started scratching at people. But that's not the point. The point is, no one should ever change things when there is no change needed!"

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At the Conference Room in the Parks Department

"Good afternoon, everyone. My name is Amy Santiago and Chris has asked me to help plan the upcoming Parks Department Employee-Appreciation Barbecue." Amy cheerfully announces to the group of people. She looks around the room and discovers that the reactions of each one present is not what she was hoping for but she is up to the challenge. This is part of her job and she had a few tricks up her sleeves to try to get them to participate.

"Aren't you the dog hater?" April's sarcastic voice cuts through the awkward silence.

"I don't, uh, hate dogs... I'm just allergic to them and could possibly die if I go near one." Amy says defensively. Amy looks to Ben for help, but to her disappointment, Ben is pretending to read the papers in front of him like a student trying not to be noticed by the teacher.

"I have something that might help you with the preparation, Amy." Leslie brings out a binder, holds it up and presents it to everyone in the room. A few groans and some eye rolls occur from the people sitting around the conference table as they read the huge title plastered at the front of the binder which clearly says 'The Leslie Knope Event Planning Preparedness Super System.'

"That's right, it's 'The Leslie Knope Event Planning Preparedness Super System' which has been used for all types of events that are planned by the Parks Department." Leslie turns back to Amy and hands the binder to her.

"Actually, Leslie," Amy pauses as she grabs a binder from her bag and places it on the table, "I have my own Event Planning System."

At this point, Ben glances up from his papers to look at Leslie's reaction. And as he suspected, she is not taking this rejection well. Her mouth forms a tight line and her eyebrows are furrowed. He watches as Leslie takes a deep breath and says through clenched teeth, "That's amazing, Amy." Ben knows how much self-control Leslie is practicing at this moment not to throw one of her tantrums.

"Thank you, Leslie. So, here are the tasks and the owners..." Amy continues and starts handing out paper to each one.

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At Ben's Office

"She has her own binder, Ben! Her own super system. And it's actually thicker than mine." Leslie is pacing back and forth in front of Ben's desk. "And I bet it's really good because she's a successful events planner." Leslie pauses and looks to have fallen into deep thought. "I wonder how she divided the different phases of the planning process..."

Leslie turns to Ben and in a serious tone says, "Ben, I need you to pretend that you want to read her notes overnight. That way you can bring the binder with you when you stay at my house tonight. And I can stay up all night and read through it and make a copy." At this absurd request, Ben's response was to turn to the camera and give his usual do-you-see-the-crazy-I-have-to-deal-with-everyday look.

Looking back at Leslie, Ben asks, "So, you are actually more concerned with the fact that she has a better super system than with the idea that she is going to be spending a lot of time with me again?"

"Well, crap on a spatula. I haven't even thought of that yet..." Leslie takes a few seconds to process this. "Hmm. I'm surprisingly not feeling jealous." Leslie says thoughtfully. "I know where you stand and you're just caught in the middle of Chris's stupid plans."

Ben reaches out to take Leslie's hand in his and gives her a tender smile. "Well, I'm really glad to hear that."

The door to the office suddenly flies open as Chris and Amy enter, causing Leslie and Ben to let go of each other's hands abruptly and pretend that they were just having a casual conversation.

"Hi Leslie." Chris says then turns to Amy. "Amy, you can temporarily park your stuff here next to Ben. Let me just grab you a chair."

"Hi Leslie." Amy says, placing the binder she was holding on Ben's table and then ducking below the table to rummage for something in her bag.

Leslie turns to Ben and says, "Alright, I'll head back to my office then." Leslie secretly points to the binder that Amy placed on the table and silently mouths to him, "Take this home."

-END SCENE-