Ben's Ex-Girlfriend (Parks and Rec | Ben and Leslie)

Chapter 3: What The Hell

Outside the Fancy Restaurant:

"Leslie, what are we doing here?" Ann whispers, crouching below a window to a fancy restaurant where Ben and his ex where having lunch.

"We are trying not to get caught. Now shush. I need you to take a quick look and see what's going on." Leslie whispers back to Ann.

"Ugh!" Ann stands up quickly and takes a glance at the customers inside the restaurant. She ducks under the window again.

"I can't find them."

"Do it again." Leslie pushes her friend.

Ann tries again and this time she spots where they are seated. She sees them both stand up and she becomes transfixed as she watches Ben's ex lean over and give Ben a kiss. Ann lets out a surprised gasp.

Leslie looks up when she hears Ann's sharp breath intake and notices her shocked face, "What's happening?" Leslie pulls on Ann's elbow trying to get her attention. She gets curious and decides to take a peek for herself.

Her jaw drops at the scene that unfolded in front of her. Right before her very eyes, she sees her boyfriend kissing the beautiful tall brunette that also happens to be his ex-girlfriend. Her heart stops and it feels like someone threw a bucket of cold water at her. Leslie goes back to hiding unable to watch Ben betray her and also unable to keep her balance and ends up falling on her back.

Ann sees Ben pull back from the kiss looking a little shocked. When she finally looks down, she finds Leslie lying on the ground. "Leslie, are you OK?" Ann crouches next to her friend, sounding concerned.

"I'm hurting, Ann." Leslie says dramatically.

"Where does it hurt?"

"In my heart. My heart hurts." Leslie closes her eyes and groans.

Ann rolls her eyes as she says, "Leslie, it was a goodbye kiss. I'm sure it meant nothing." Ann reassures her making sure Leslie doesn't see her roll her eyes.

"Goodbye kisses take a fraction of a second, Ann! That was at least a 5 second kiss and counting!"

"Ladies, are you OK?" The two girls look up to see a concerned stranger.

"We're fine. We'll be fine." Ann waves him away.

"No, we're not," Leslie contradicts her. "I think I'm dying. Is this a heart attack? I'm having a heart attack. Ann, call 911."

A group of people are starting to gather around the two.

"We're fine everyone. There's nothing to see here. Please go." Ann tries to shoo the people away. She helps Leslie stand up and half drags her back to the car.

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Cut to One-on-One Interview with an old passerby:

"I think that brunette girl was trying to kill the blonde one." The old lady stares at the camera with a deadpan look on her face.

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At Ann's Office:

Leslie is curled up into a ball hiding under Ann's desk.

"Leslie, talk to me." Ann begs, but all she hears is Leslie groan. She has been hiding under there for almost an hour now.

A knock surprises Ann and she sees Ben at the door. "Oh my God... Leslie, it's Ben. Should I let him in?" Again all she heard was a groan. Ann heads to the door unable to ignore Ben as he looks at her through the glass pane.

"Hi Ann. Um, were you talking to yourself?"

"Yeah... I do that sometimes." Ann says slowly.

"Have you seen Leslie?"

"Uh, no. I haven't seen her. I don't know where she is."

"If you see her, can you let me know? I really, really need to talk to her."

"Go to hell, Ben!" Leslie suddenly yells from under the desk.

"Leslie?" Ben goes over to Ann's desk and looks underneath.

"What are you doing under there?"

"I'm dying. Leave me alone."

Ben kneels next to her. "Leslie, I am so sorry about this morning. I couldn't say no when Chris asked me to take her to lunch."

"Oh yeah? Well, I guess you also couldn't say no when she kissed you, huh?"

"What?" Ben's jaw drops open and he starts to feel guilty, wondering how she found out about the kiss.

"Go away. I don't want to talk to you."

"It was... How did you... It meant nothing, Leslie." Ben places his hand on her arm, but Leslie quickly shrugs it off.

"Just get out!"

"Leslie..."

"Go away, Ben. I can't. I just can't right now." Leslie says with a shaky voice.

Ben hears Leslie softly whimper and his chest gets heavy. "No. No. No. We're going to talk about this now." He squeezes under Ann's desk lying face to face with Leslie. Cradling Leslie's face in his hands, he says heavily, "Please listen to me when I say that this is just a big misunderstanding. I, I couldn't tell her that I was dating you and she thought I was still single." He wipes away an un-shed tear that was forming under her eye. "Please, Leslie. It meant nothing."

"I don't like her." Leslie whines softly. Ben smiles, he knows that Leslie is starting to calm down, he gives her a kiss which she passively receives. She's still feeling a bit hurt by what she saw. He leans in better to kiss her again, deeper this time and it intensifies when Leslie finally returns the kiss. She momentarily forgets her jealousy and focuses on Ben's hungry kisses. His lips are so soft and tender, rendering Leslie weak in the knees. It's a good thing she was already lying on the floor.

"Um, if you guys are going to full on make out under there, I'm just going leave for a few minutes..." Ann says as she quickly exits the room.

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Cut to One-on-One Interview with Leslie:

"After making out with Ben for 30 minutes, I can safely conclude that Ben likes me more than his ex. And... that Amy is the spawn of Satan."

-End Scene-