Isn't it lovely?

Eat. Sleep. Repeat.

Every day was the same.

Wake up, contemplate on whether I want to get up or not, eventually get up, and then go about my miserable day.

Some days I couldn't even bring myself to leave my recharge slab. I felt so tired that I couldn't even function properly.

I've visited Rung more and more often, giving in to his constant requests. He thinks that I am developing some form of depression, but I know I am much worse than that.

I used to be a power-hungry warlord, but those days are over. I couldn't bear to see my reflection anymore after what I had done.

I did terrible things.... horrible, inhumane things... and the energon of those who were innocent are on my hands. There's no coming back from that, no one ever comes back from that.

But somehow I've done it. Rung calls it a success, I call it a failure. I should've stopped before that whole damn war started... but I didn't.

Because I was a fool...

Before joining the Lost Light, I had thoughts of.... suicide. Pulling the plug seemed easier than facing the harsh reality of my actions every day. But something told me that I was more than that, that I belonged in this world.

And I listened to it.

I wasn't taking the easy way out.

The pathetic way out.

I wanted to go out in a blaze of glory, fighting til my last breath.

Fighting for what's right.

-Lost Light, 0900-

Megatron groaned, his systems humming to life. He rubbed his optics and sighed, pressing his helm against the cool surface of his recharge slab.

He didn't want to get up, he didn't even want to move from his position. He guessed that it was just his depression getting progressively worse.

"Depression takes on many forms. Symptoms vary for each patient."

He remembered Rung saying that to him a few days ago. That slaggin' therapist... why did he even bother listening to him anyway?

"Frag.... I need to get up.." Megatron growled, forcibly willing his body to move and push himself up.

Fatigue hit him like a brick wall and he almost stumbled as he walked to the door. He felt like purging his tank, but there was nothing in there. He needed to get something into his systems soon, he felt horrible.

His dim red optics were half-lidded as he stepped out into the hallway. He rubbed them again and sighed heavily, lumbering down the hallway with heavy pedesteps.

He wasn't nearly as tall as he was when standing at his full height. He was hunched over, his backstrut strained to the brink of warping. His broad shoulders sagged forward like two sacks of flour, not strong at all.

He tried to hide it before, but found that it was no use. His irritability and sudden sleeping spells quickly gave it away to pretty much everyone.

As he turned the corner, he almost trampled over Tailgate, who was walking the opposite direction. His reflexes were as slow as molasses as he leisurely avoided the little minibot with a mumbled 'sorry'.

"It's okay Megatron! Hey... you okay? You look horrible.." Tailgate had a look of concern on his face as he studied Megatron. He had never seen him in this state.

Megatron straightened up a little and winced at the slight pain in his back. He glanced down at Tailgate and forced a half-smile. "I'm okay, just need some energon..."

"Okay! Just checking! See ya later!" Tailgate waved as he trotted down the hallway.

Megatron stifled a chuckle and sighed, waving back before continuing down the hallway. "Stand up straight, you idiot! What are you, some kind of footsoldier?!" His inner conscience growled at him, which he pretty much ignored for the most part.

His mind often said things like that, but he knew it wasn't real. It was just trying to bring him down into that deep, dark abyss. He didn't want to go down there and he wouldn't allow it to drag him down there.

He was slowly clawing his way back up, but it was all about to come crashing down upon him.