Don't be alone

Chapter one|Dancing in the dark

I saw him today, with another girl. It broke me, I never wanted him to move on. I didn't want to move on. He didn't see me, well he never sees me. Even when we was together he saw right through me.

I fumbled around in the back pocket of my jeans, I grabbed my phone and rung my Bestfriend, Una, and talked and talked and talked until we planned to meet up in a park. We brought our speakers and was dancing in the dark. We were both broken kids form a broken family. We got stoned, and pissed. But we didn't care, at least not anymore anyway. We never really saw a point in life to be honest, ever since we was kids our lives kinda toppled over. We couldn't count on anyone else anymore, we had to relay on ourselves. In a way we was already dead.

All we could ever do was smile. Move on with your day, hold back your tears and pretend you're okay. At the end of the day what can two sad teenagers do in the generation then get stoned and pissed.

I was never actually a kid, I grew up to fast, I never had a child hood, I had to look at for my family because deep down I knew, they would never be able to look after themselves, but I had una, and she had me and we would never be alone, we promised each other, forever and always. We would never go through any shit by ourselves, well I thought that anyways. But times change. Nothing ever stays the same. People leave some with a reason and others? Well they just leave with no reason at all. Life isn't always easy, you have to fight your way through it. No matter how much crap it throughs at you. The waves of life come crashing down and sometimes you feel like you're drowning. When I fight I'm all alone and I try to be someone else, life is something no one can brace for, we're just lost kids, with lost souls. And we have so many memories that we cry about. I regret in life I never gave more. So much ache in my heart, I can literally feel it break. We wait forever the day that I will feel alright but it never comes. He was the one I was supposed to grow old with. Life seems so not real, how are we supposed to feel. But I look at him with no hate. This is the last time I'll ever see his face again.

I guess sometimes, when you love someone, you just have to let them go, no matter how much it hurts. He said we'd grow old together. He said we would be forever, but I guess forever isn't as long as it used to me. I'd do anything for him to mine. But it's my fault he's gone and I've gotta love with that.

I walked a slow walk home, with the wind blowing through my hair. To be honest I never really felt at home there, I never was part of my family. I was a failure, and that's all I've ever know. Never had any sleep, yep, plenty missed.