what if

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Chapter 11|what if

I can't help but love you even though
I try not to
- War of hearts, Ruelle.

Sean

Having my friends there yesterday made all the difference. Already, (even though I won't admit it to Kaycee) I felt lighter. They stayed over after our 'deep' session and we stayed up late watching netflix. Right now, I was sitting on my bed a midst of a bunch of sleeping kids.

I decided to make some breakfast while I wait for these sleepy heads wake up.

A few minutes later, there was some french toast sizzling in a pan.

From behind me I felt a pair of arms wrap around my waist and a familiar soothing voice say "mmmm, the french toast smells amazing."

Spinning around, I found myself smiling at the sight of her. Kaycee's hair was splayed everywhere in her natural curls and she was wearing a large oversized "Central perk" shirt and shorts, showing off her incredibly tan legs.

She looked like a real angel.

Grinning at her mischievously I say "Is that so? I know something else that will taste even better."

Kaycee's eyes widen and she gasped before slapping me on my arm.

Kaycee

"Sean! Don't say things like that or our ship will never go away!"

He didn't know the irony of this situation. I was telling him to stop flirting with me when I knew I was so head over heels for him, it hurt.

I let go of him and started to turned to leave the room when he grabbed my wrist and said the unthinkable.

"What if I don't want it go away?"

"What if I tell you that I'm so in love with you? What if I say that these few weeks are enough for me to know that you mean the world to me and no one else can compare?" Sean said in a soft whisper.

"Then I'd say that this entire confession is based on a 'what if' instead of a 'I am'." I say regretfully before sprinting out of the room.

I could hear the sound of his heart breaking but I can't love him. Call me selfish but I am so in love with him that if anything were to happen to him or if he just disappeared like before I don't know what I'd do with myself.

It was then that I realised the true irony of the situation.

Because I was so bound by the fear of losing Sean, I left him and in doing that, I lost him.

...
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Long time no see😅

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