smoking by eleven : the 1975

Fallingforyou

Before I knew it, Matty and I were drunk. The speakers in his room, blasting music to his band, as we laid lazily on his bed. Matthew sat up and cupped his hands around the bug of a cigarette, instantly lighting it and placing it between his soft pink lips.

"Smoking will run you," I informed.

"Its my body, I will ruin it if I wish." he mumbled, the cigarette bobbing with every word he spoke. Matty's cheeks sunk in and revealed his perfect bones, as he took a drag for his cigarette.

"What's your deal?" I asked, catching his attention.

"What do you mean?" he scoffed.

"Why do I find you so captivating?" It came out as if it were a bag thing.

"Human nature. I guess." he shrugged.

"You just seem so," I pondered, searching for the right word. "Reticent."

"I don't know," Matty shrugged. "I've just never had anyone to open up to."

"What about your family?"

"They don't give two shits about me," he growled.

"And George?"

"Hm," he chuckled, smiling to himself. "Well, I guess he could care less."

I awoke in the middle of the night. Matty, laid on the other side of the bed. I wanted nothing more to just lay with him. I grabbed my jacket from the floor, and opened his bedroom door. I knew it was wrong to leave before he awoke, but I couldn't help my guilty feeling.

I prayed that he lived alone so that I could make a smooth exit. Luckily, I was able to leave the house without any distractions, besides the growing pit in my stomach that now told me to go back into Matty's room.

I wrapped my jacket tighter around my sides as I stepped out into the freezing air. "Fuck," I mumbled. Matty had driven me here, my car was still at the record shop. I continued to mumble every curse word that came to mind, as I began to walk.

"Charlie?" a voice called out.

I turned around and met eyes with George, instantly regretting coming here in the first place.

"What are you doing here?" George asked.

"I slept over, at Matty's -"

"Please tell me you two didn't fuck, because -"

"No! God, no." I groaned, waving my hands in the air. "We listened to music and drank and - I actually, don't remember what happened after that."

"What a prick," he growled.

"Did you bring your car?" I asked, desperately.

He nodded. "Yeah, but I need to talk to Matty. Is he awake?"

I shrugged and followed him back up the steps of Matty's house.

-

"Love," Matty said from across the kitchen. He held up a cup of coffee in my direction.

"Thanks." I replied, taking the cup.

George shot me a look and I glared back down at the rims of my cup. "Matty, can we start working?" He asked, through his teeth.

"Um, yeah, sure." He answered, grabbing his coffee and following George to the stairs, leaving me with a wink.

I was now alone in Matty's mostly empty house. The faint sound of Matty's guitar leaking through the floors. I stood up from the bar stool and walked into another room. Photographs of George, Matty and two other boys that I've never met, covered the walls.

About an hour later, Matty ran down the stairs and into the room where I stood. "Sorry we took so long." He spoke.

I shrugged, "Who's this?" I pointed to the boys in every picture placed on the wall.

"That's Adam," he stated. "And that's Ross."

"Where are they now?"

"Adam is in Uni. Ross is traveling," Matty shrugged. "I haven't heard from them in years."

I turned away from the photos and took a seat on the beat-up couch. "I know what it feels like to lose you best friend."

"I don't like to say we've lost them, more like, we said goodbye. Temporarily."

"Yeah, well. I haven't heard from my best friend in days. Right after she drove off a bridge." I picked at my fingernails and sniffed, "So I think I can say I've lost a friend."

"Shit, I'm so -"

"Lets go." George whined, rushing down the steps.

I nodded, turning to Matty, "Thanks."

"For what?"

"Last night, the music, the dancing." I smiled. "And the wine."

"Anytime." Matty grinned. "And if you need anyone to talk to, you know where to find me."