smoking by eleven : the 1975

102

I sat on the edge of Matty's bed, listening to Gemma's voice rambling to Matty, downstairs. I guess you could say I was jealous, but above all, I was utterly confused. There was a knock on the bedroom door, and Matty walked in.

"Hey," I sniffed, slipping off my boots and crossing my legs onto each other. Matty forced a smile in my direction and sat down next to me.

-

I woke up in Matty's arms. With the sound of soft rock music playing in the bedroom, and the faint sound of metal crashing together in the background.

"What the bloody hell is she doing?" Matty's voice filled the room as he threw the blankets off both our bodies. He sat on the edge of the bed, running his hands over his face. "Sometimes, I can't stand her." He groaned.

"Matty, can I ask you a question?" I asked.

Matty turned to face me, "Yeah, of course."

"Are you and Gemma," I paused. "Like, together?"

Matty shrugged, groaned, then buried his face back into his hands. "We've been on and off, for a few years now." He spoke, watching the rain dripping down the windowpane.

"Do you remember, one of the first things you said to me?" I asked, picking at my finger nails.

"Yeah. How I didn't want to fuck someone who's already taken." Matty scoffed.

"Doesn't that imply to me too?" I asked.

A grin grew on Matty's face but it disappeared after a few moments. "I honestly have no clue what Gemma and I are anymore. I just, need some space to figure it out."

"Sure." I said, grabbing my shoes and my jacket. "Call me, when you know what you want."

I ran downstairs and made sure Gemma didn't spot me on my way out. I searched deeply in my leather jacket pocket, and finally pulled out my car keys. I sat in my car, holding my jacket tight around my shivering body. Through the rain, I could see the front door of Matty's house swing open. I automatically sunk back into my seat as my car door opened and Matty sat down, leaning over to my car dashboard to turn up the heat.

"God, I'm such an asshole." Matty scowled, under his breath.

I chuckled. "I know that already."

"I mean, god, I'm such an asshole, and I'm sorry. You deserve so much better."

"I know that too," I mumbled. I tried my hardest to avoid eye contact with Matty. Because, God knows, when I look into those pair os brown eyes, I'll melt.

"Fuck, Charlie. I'm trying my best to apologize."

I turned my head and looked at him, a grin spreading across his face. "You are an asshole. I do deserve better. But, that doesn't lessen my affection for you."

His smiled dimmed as his phone began to ring. "It's George."

"Answer it." I nodded.

Matthew brought the phone to his ear and leaned the side of his body against my car door. "Hey," Matty spoke softly into the phone. "Yeah, okay. What? Where are you?"

Matty ran his fingers through his hair as he put down his phone. "Where is he?" I asked.

"The bridge," he paused. "Shit. How could he do this?"

-

"George!" Matty yelled, as he opened the door of my car and stepped out into the rain. I ran after Matthew, who was now staring blankly at George. "Please, Mate. Don't do this." He begged. George stared down into the blackness of the night, trying to balance on the ledge.

"George," I screamed. But he didn't turn to look at me. "G, please don't."

"Mate, answer her!" Matty screamed, stepping forward. "Say something."

George finally turned in our direction, tears streaming down his cheeks. "You fucked up my life, both of you. Just leave." He deadpanned.

"We can't do that," Matty said.

"Just go!" George screamed. Matty shook his head and took a few steps back, walking back towards my car. Giving up.

"George, please, listen." I proposed. "We'll leave. But don't jump, okay? If it means anything, at this point, I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry, for everything." Frankly, I didn't know what I did wrong, but that was the only thing I could say to make George stay.