The story of my life.

Chapter 4; Bottles.

I woke up with a killer head ache. I was slowly opening my eyes & I was starting to see people. Where was I? I took another look. I looked down at my hands & there were IV's in one. Why am I in a damn hospital? I heard my mothers voice but I couldn't make out what she was saying. The next thing I knew the door was swung open & my mom came storming towards me. I seen the ceiling spinning & I blacked out. I could hear my mom saying we had to leave & that it was better to get out of there. I woke up in my bed. I could hear my mom & Jack yelling.

"She's such a stupid nasty whore." Jack spoke boldly.

"Do not say that about my baby girl!" My mom screamed.

"She's just like her mom. An unhappy slut." Jack growled back.

"Get. Out. Now." Mom told him.

"Fuck you." He yelled before I heard a door slam.

I got up & walked downstairs about 20 minutes later. There were 3 empty beer bottles on the counter. My mom was watching tv.

"Hi mom." I spoke quietly.

"What do you want? Oh do you want to know where my pills are too?" She growled & then smiled evily at me.

I gave her the best 'ouch you're a bitch' look I could. I stormed up the stairs into my room. I slammed my door & locked it.

Why would she say that.

I'm worthless.

No one will ever love me.

I shouldn't be here.

My mind wouldn't stop. I couldn't stop thinking. I was fucked up.

You are a nasty whore!

"Shut up!!!! Just shut up!" I screamed talking to my own brain.

You're never going to matter to anyone.

"Yes I will!"

You are worthless & no one wants you so just leave.

I grabbed the blades & went into the bathroom. I turned on the bath. I cut until the bath water was as thick as my blood. I laid there for hours hoping I'd fall asleep & drown.

I got out & wiped myself off. I say in the sinking staring at myself wishing I was someone else. I finally went out of the bathroom to check on my mom. She was knocked out on the couch. I went into my room. Replaying the words she said & the harshness in her voice. I cried for an hour before I drifted off into the beautiful thing I call sleep. You're alive but not awake. It's darkness. You can dream of the most gorgeous things in life & be happy. You can dream of the worst out of the worst things & have none of it be real. You can die but then wake up in the morning. Sleep really is a perfect thing. It's a dark paradise. But nothing good lasts forever.