Hip Hop Affairs (BoyxBoy)

Chapter 6

Above: A$AP Bari and some of the song Rakim raps called Houston Old Head

I was still sitting in what is now called my room on the bed. Ever since the day Yams found me in front of the building, he took me to his place to let me live here. That same day I told him what happened. And he went off like he was like the fucking Incredible Hulk. He was so pissed he wanted to kill them, but I wasn't about to let that shit happen. End up having the wrong people going to jail and shit. Then he suggested I testify against them, but then what's that going to do? It's their word against mine.

This all happened four days ago. He knocks on the door and tries to come in, but I never respond and always keep the door locked. I don't feel like talking to anyone at all anymore. Honestly, I'm a bit traumatized. I had my virginity taken away by force. I may sound like a fucking chick, but I was waiting on a special girl to come along. And I still don't know how I feel about guys, but I may be leaning towards that side some.

There was a knock on the door. I rolled my eyes already knowing who it was and laid back on the bed.

"Rakim, I know you know it's me. Open up, man," Yams's voice boomed. I still didn't want to answer him or unlock the door. I still just sat here on the bed. I heard him sigh. "Rakim, why won't you open up man?"

That question hit me in the fucking heart. He knows why. "BECAUSE EVERYONE WHO CAME INTO MY LIFE FUCKED ME OVER! EVEN THE PEOPLE WHO I THOUGHT I COULD TRUST!" I yelled at him. My mom, pops, and Shaine. Those were people I thought I could trust, but look what happened. But out of all of them, Shaine hurt me the most. She was like another moms to me when I no one else was there for me. I still wonder where was she when Bessie and that man kidnapped and raped me.

"Rakim, you did just talk to me for the first time in days so I'm guessing you do trust me right?" Great, now I hate I even answered him, but then he does have a point. If I have trust for anybody left it's for nobody really, but Yams is here so I guess he could do for now.

I got up from the bed and unlocked the door, cracking it open a little bit and then returning to the bed. Yams came in slowly and sat down in front of me. He sighed, "Rakim, just talk."

"What?" I asked confused. "About what? You already know what happened."

"I know. I mean just talk. Let me know how you're feeling about this." I sighed. I really didn't want to talk. I felt like talking was going to get me no where but I did anyway.

"If you wanna know how I feel, I feel hurt. I feel like no one was there for me when that happened. I'm disappointed in them. I wonder how could no one hear me scream. There were a few people in that room and I know they heard me, they just chose to ignore me. Then there's Shaine. I'm disappointed in her the most. Her words replay in my head every day. Just know I'm always here for you. But if she's always there for me, why wasn't she there when I was being kidnapped?!" I felt tears coming out my eyes. I didn't care though, I was releasing frustrations.

Yams just sat there looking at me like he was thinking about what to say next. "Man, I knew you couldn't help me! Just get the fuck out my room!" I yell at him.

"Hey! You need to chill your ass out man. I ain't the one my nigga. I know you mad and shit, but you don't need to take that anger out on me, man. Look at you sittin' here cryin' and shit. Instead of sittin' here crying your fucking face off, why don't you get up and do something about? Tears ain't gon' solve your problems." He finished what he said and calmed down himself. "Look, from the looks of it you got alot of anger you need to let go. So getcha ass up and get dressed, I'm taking you down to the studio."

I looked at him confused. "The studio? For what?"

"Just getcha ass up, besides you stink anyway," he laughed and got up and left out the room. I hate to admit this, but he made me crack a smile. The first smile I cracked in four days.