what's your id.

1 | christal

CHAPTER 1 | CHRISTAL

grief (n.) - a strong feeling of sadness, usually because someone has died

Mirrors can be cruel. They remind you of what people see when they look at you. One day they'll compliment you and show you how beautiful you appear and the next day make you too insecure to leave your own house. Mirrors can read your mind. They know when you want to impress someone and they know when you're too anxious to put in effort.

Christal hated mirrors. They took her out of the comfort of her mind and rudely brought her back to reality. It wasn't that she lacked confidence or felt ugly, it was just that she never saw what she wanted to see. 

She sat in front of her bedroom mirror, old and smudged from years of use, and was met with dark bags under her blue eyes. Her faded, purple-brown hair was even frizzier than normal from a restless night of tossing and turning. The mirror knew she was grieving. Her pale white skin looked dead and ghostly as it had her entire life and her shoulders slumped even more than usual. Christal shrugged and stood up to open her closet sliding door. A dozen assorted over-sized hand-me-down sweatshirts were hanging in the cramped closet. She grabbed her favorite red Waybern High Volleyball sweatshirt and pulled it over her head. Sweeping books, pencils, and her cellphone off her desk and into her backpack, she gave one last quick look into the mirror, flipping the inanimate object off before she left her room to start her day.

♦ ♦ ♦

Christal stood at the bus stop at the corner of her suburb. She knew taking the bus as a junior was seen as some sort of taboo, especially in the small town of Waybern, but she really couldn't care less. Sébastien took the bus, too. Even though he was sleeping on the bus most days or had headphones in on other days, she still appreciated his company.

The bus approached and Christal hopped on, navigating through the rows of freshmen and sophomores. She saw two of her favorite freshmen, Jeremy and Fleur, sitting at the front and gave them a half effort smile. Jeremy smiled and elbowed Fleur, who was lost in a book. Christal had hardly seen Fleur without a book in her arm since they met. The girl was always reading. Jeremy, however, didn't really read much. He was the more outgoing of the two. Everyone who knew him loved him instantly. He looked younger than his age and had a bubbly, childlike personality that was hard to resist. Normally Christal would ruffle his black hair and tease him before joining the juniors at the back, but today was different.

A gloomy atmosphere filled the bus. It was everywhere you went in Waybern since the death of Tina, a senior at Waybern High and Christal's best friend. Just two weeks ago, Andy's dad, the mayor, had been out of town on a business trip, so Andy, a freshman at Waybern, had hosted one of his famous parties at the lavish mansion he called home. Christal had gone outside to the courtyard pool after receiving a distressful text from Tina, only to find her face down and floating in the center of the pool, not a soul in sight. 

Tina was seen as an outcast by most everyone who wasn't close to her. With a record of disappearing from school and cutting off contact with friends for weeks, most people considered her a loser and a lost cause. Suicide was the assumed cause of death and no one seemed to  question it. Not even her parents as they watched her lowered into her grave at the cemetery off Main Street. 

But that was the thing eating away at Christal. She just knew Tina wouldn't have taken her own life. The friend group Tina had formed, with Christal included, knew it as well. Tina was so excited to travel the world when she graduated and to experience culture outside of the sheltered Waybern way of life. 

Worry furrowed at Christal's brows as she took a seat next to Sébastien. He wasn't sleeping today. In fact, he looked just as distressed and sleep deprived as Christal did. She smiled to herself at the heavy bags under his emerald green eyes.

"Hey, Christal." Sébastien said as he smoothed out the wrinkles in his pants, a nervous habit he had. 

"Hey." She nodded at him.

"Did you see the chat this morning?" Sébastien was referring to the group chat on id., the current most popular messaging app. Some weirdo had invented the app as a Furry instant messaging portal, but the app quickly spread and became much more than that. Now, it consisted of groups of close friends who would constantly keep updated with each other. Sébastien and Christal were a part of id.owo, consisting of fifteen students from Waybern High. Well, sixteen before Tina's sudden death. Tina had created the group for people she didn't absolutely hate at school at the beginning of the year and the sixteen friends had become incredibly close in the past three months of its existence. Jeremy, Fleur, and Andy were three of the freshmen in the group. 

"No, why?" Christal said after a while, digging in her backpack for her phone.

"They're all worried about you." Sébastien said softly, glancing over at Christal. "You've just been really distant since... well, since." Sébastien grew quiet and stared out the window, an awkward silence hanging over his words. 

Christal ignored it, opening id., and going to the general chatroom. She saw Luke and Yasmim had left messages for her, their screen names taking root in her mind rather than their real ones. 

lucas: love youu ghostly see you tomorrow x
mim: ping us when you're better babe

Ghostly was Christal's on-screen name and a nickname most of the group called her in real life, as well. Luke and Yasmim were two of the other juniors in the group. Inseparable and absolute dorks, Christal loved them to death. Christal laughed a little as she read one of Jeremy's messages further down in the chat, addressing Luke and Yasmim.

germ: shut up weebs give her space

Sébastien cleared his throat, taking Christal's attention off her phone and back to reality as he handed her a plastic container. 

"For lunch." He said. "I know they're your favorite." Christal opened the lid slightly and steam came out. She noticed warm mashed potatoes inside.

"For me? You shouldn't have." Christal teased calmly, hiding her surprise at the fact Sébastien had gone out of his way to make her food. 

"I mean, I just bought a packet at the store and added water then heated it up. No big deal." Sébastien said, sarcasm laced in his words. 

"Oh don't go acting all modest. Not buying it." Christal said. Sébastien wasn't one to show his affection much, so it really meant a lot to her that he had done this.

"Let's just, get through this day." Sébastien said, looking out the window and onto the town square. 

Christal nodded, focusing her attention on Jeremy and Fleur towards the front of the bus. He was animatedly telling her something and she was smiling affectionately back, their naive ease and happiness taking Christal's mind off Tina just for a little while.