It's Called Drama For A Reason- My Theatre Diary

Why I Can't Direct

     Have you ever agreed to something and then seriously regretted it a little later? Well, I did, when I agreed to direct a short film for some convention. It was a state-wide contest and everything, and it was going to be so fun. Well, easier said than done.

     It was me and another girl, Gia, directing one film, and two other girls in our directing a different one. The theatre teacher, Ms. Director, decided to have half of the class be in each film, to help us out.

     So our group of about seven started  brainstorming. It seemed like everyone was excited and it was going to go well. Until we had to start filming.

     The way it worked was a prompt was sent out, and we have a week from then to make a five minute long video. We got a late start on filming, and that definitely contributed to the tension in the group.

     My biggest problem was everybody else's problems. It seemed like everyone had a problem with every other line in our script. And if it wasn't the script, they had a problem with every other word Gia and I said. And by everyone, I mean one or two people. The rest were alright.

     I learned the hard way that I can't direct. Because everyone had a problem with everything, they tried to change it. And they would argue about it. It didn't occur to them that this wasn't up for debate, as bitchy as that sounds. None of them seemed to care, though. I used the word "hijacked" to describe what they did. Especially one girl, Maya, who almost completely took over.

     Now, Maya is my friend, but that day, she made me particularly mad. She'd seemed so excited while we were planning, and seemed to like our idea. At the start of filming, I made the mistake of announcing that the film had to be really good, because Gia and I were competing with it. Maya actually mocked me when I said that, 'cause a few minutes earlier, we were told by the teacher that this was also for a class grade, and that was Maya's main concern.

     I understand wanting to get a good grade, of course. It's just, it wasn't like it was a matter of failing or passing the class. It's a participation grade! I didn't even really worry about the grade because I knew we would at very least pass.

     Maya's overall point was that a letter/number mattered more than the fact that this was what Gia and I had to show for our work in a state-wide competition. Okay, but she also talked down to me like I was childish for thinking otherwise. But all of that was easy for her to say. When this film went to the public, it wasn't her name attached to it! None of our actors had to give a flying fuck about it once they were done playing their parts, and most of them didn't. There was more to it, for me and Gia at least, than some school project.

     It wouldn't have been as bad if Maya hadn't talked down to me like I was an incompetent five-year-old. She got so pissy with me, passive-aggressive style. My one regret was standing there like an idiot instead of saying something to her. I guess I was just so beside myself that she actually talked to me like that.

     So she acted like she just wanted to get this over with and get the grade, but five minutes later, she's deciding everything like she's running it. The thing that almost made me completely lose it was when everyone was yelling over each other, and one of our actors shushed Gia, telling her to be quiet. And it all went downhill even more from there. The best part was when one girl said "It's not like we're gonna win, anyway," These were the types of people I had to direct.

     Don't get me wrong, they are good people, but that day just wasn't our day.

     It was like we weren't the directors anymore! But there's only so much you can argue with people, so I decided to let them do what they wanted. I pretty much got the "let's get this over with" attitude that Maya had before. And I just watched it burn. It was exactly like the saying "too many chefs, not enough cooks". The real panic attack happened when I realized this was our last opportunity to work on it, and it was wasted by drama.

     But all hope was not lost. There was a gathering after school that same day, and that was our saving grace. We were able to complete the video. The only problem- only one member (not including me and Gia) from our original cast was there. So you know what we did? We started from scratch. The 30 seconds of footage we managed to get? Scrapped. Our cast members? Gone. They were acting like asses anyway.

     We got a new cast together, and after much hustle, struggle, removing characters, re-arranging the script to fit, anxiety, and hard work, we got it done in about two hours.

     The best part was, Gia and I actually got to direct it, and were at very least shown some damn respect. I'm so glad I didn't give up on the project, but I will NOT be directing anything else anytime soon.