Every kiss starts with Kay

Vlll- The explosive charge

Now I have only one thing left at this convention that involves Robbie. It's the best part, but also the part I'm most nervous about. It's the meet and greet. I actually dreamed that I met him and every time I tell people they say "awww", and smile like I was a little puppy, but the thing is, it was nothing sweet about meeting him in my dreams. He was nearly frightening as the Peter Pan he played in Once Upon A Time. He hunted after my imperfections, and he was so rude to me. My brain wanted me to be prepared for the worst nightmare awake. I also dreamed that I missed the bus/train/plane and didn't have the chance to meet Robbie. Waking up those nights weren't bloody easy. I was sweating like a pig, felt how my tears were everywhere. Because of the dreams I even wished ones that I was not going. During two whole months it felt like I couldn't breathe. I was so scared I would blow everything up, like an untouched explosive charge that could blow up any minute; it is all about the right time. One step at the wrong direction and you are prepared for a certain death.

But I never died, thank God for that, I'm here, in Paris, I will soon meet my biggest celebrity crush ever and actually talk to him, I'm so damn lucky. I'm still struggling with the breathing but I hope it will be back to normal, one day.

I shake my head as I slowly come back to reality. My blurry view gets sharper and "Let it go" from Frozen slowly enters my ears. Without even thinking about it I sing along the person who's on stage singing karaoke in front of everyone. Wow, that's really brave. I actually love singing but what I live for is writing my own music, it's not like I get paid or anything... it's just that without it I could not live.