sunflowers and roses ❣ frarus

❣

russia never had a relationship.

romantic, at least.
he never tried.
well, he did, but it always ended horribly. ended in bad, bad ways. ways he regreted deeply. he can't turn back, and francis tells him he can't linger on that too much. it'll drive him crazy.
he felt like he was crazy already, though? was he? france saying that meant that he didn't see ivan as crazy.
but that's off track.
never anything romantic in his life.
and, after all this time, still has never had anything in bed. it's been literal centruies and he never had that.

not until now, he assumed. he sat on francis' bed, fiddling with his scarf, in a sweater and boxers. crossed legged, he waited for his boyfriend to come him. he felt uneasy--sure, and he doubted this would lead to anything. he wasn't ready for anything, and knowing france he would never force anything. he was so gentle, it wasn't even funny. he would never do anything he knew his partner wasn't comfortable with. he wouldn't make russia have sex.

he came in, hair still wet and in nothing but his boxers. the steam fogged the mirrors in the bathroom and leaked into the otherwise cold bedroom. france stretched, and flashed a soft smile at russia. russia felt his face flush.

"like what you see?" he gave a chuckle and took off his towel. he was in nothing but briefs, and russia's chest felt warm and his entire torso became knotted with so many feelings.

he sat down next to him, his thin hand reaching to ivan's large one, his fingers interlocking with his. france's thumb rubbed against russia's. the touch comforted him beyond anything. it was the closest thing he's had to intimacy in forever. if not, ever.

"vahya, you okay?" his accent was smooth, no rough edges in his words, it was the defention of smooth.

"oh, da, yes! just haven't slept over someone's house in...so long."

"you came by for the meeting in my city, why not stay?" france replied, leaning his head against russia's shoulder. "seems like a nuisance to find a hotel to stay at when i'm right here. i have stayed at your house so many times...and not that i mind, i just wanted you to stop by where i stay."

russia was hoping his hand wasn't sweaty. he was hoping it wasn't showing. his heart was pounding.

"it's getting late darling, and you look tense. maybe rest would be good?" france used his free hand to grab russia's face, and lifted his chin. "i can help you calm down if you need."

"oh, nono! you've done plenty, do not worry! i will be fine."

france gave a twisted look and look ivan in the eyes. ivan kept looking down.
"you can't keep contact when you're upset. do you need to talk?"

it was silly, really. the reasons why he was upset. they weren't valid reasons. they were things he shouldn't worry about. but france made him feel so secure he couldn't help but release it.

"i just feel a bit shy, that's all."

"how so?" francis squeezed his hand a bit tighter;  nothing ridiculously, but it was a niteable amount of pressure. "you know i'm here for you."

"i...am not quite sure?" he managed to muster out of him. his chest started to swell with another emotion. his feelings of love and fluttering have been replaced.

"if you truly want...there is a spare bedroom. but, i only say that as an offer for your sake." francis rested his hair on ivan's shoulder. his swirly blonde hair caressed his neck, his slight scruff brushing against his cheek. russia grabbed france's hand a bit harder making francis wince. he tried to hide it, but russia quickly released all together. he didn't know his own ways. his own strength was foreign to him.