it is your dream to see a sunset ever since the days when you thought the earth was only a circle with blue and green spots like how you would draw it when your teacher in kindergarten asks you and there was nothing but only pureness and innocence in you and you wish you'd grow up soon
so you should be in love with the way you would tuck the strands of your short hair behind your ear when you can't get a clear view of the way the waves hit the shore and the coolest wind blow the sand away to the top of your head and you let out that big giggle you make when you see something really cute and funny like when you happened to spot dogs sunbathing on the beach and you hear the familiar little boy who played next to your tent squeal in excitement as he splashes the little waters at his mom and he held her hand so he doesn't fall when waves comes
and it reminds you of the old baby picture you have when you went to the beach for the second time where you laid on your chest on the sand with this tiny castle beside you that you built and you still think you're a secret mermaid with those pink swimsuit that looked similar to a ballerina's and you know you were obsessed with long ribbons and every time you see one you tie the ends of it on a stick and you would dance with your sense of rhythm while you wave your ribbon around
you were the happiest, carefree little girl who needn't to worry about anything, maybe until now you still are
you have gotten older now and you realized that the earth is not merely just a circle with green and blue spots but it is fragile and verdant and a powerful spherical and it is always full of secrets wanting to be heard under these clouds and you still love the way it feels warm in your favorite grandparents' home where you stop by first and you get freshly baked banana and chocolate muffins from them when you come home from school and your grandma tells you that she made these in the morning with great love and you thank her sincerely because with grandma there is nothing but pure love and great care and nobody could ever beat that
but it is your dream now to move to a place where there is nothing but nature and tranquility; the ones you long for the most at this age when you live in a city where nothing is safe and by nothing is safe you mean you still get hurt and you need not to do anything not to get hurt because the hurt will come to you and there is only love and kindness in this world that will make these stop and you want to start it with yourself first but you realize it is not as simple as you thought it was but that didn't stop you to stay kind towards people and give love when they need it and you keep doing that, you stay like that because it is love and it is kindness that are the most powerful things you can give against the bad
you're still aware that sometimes things can't change, things are really like that, things are just are and you are not the kind of a girl who prefers alcohol over grape juice not because you think alcohol is bad that you pick juice but because it's just the way it is and you were born to love fruits and the sceneries and these classical music that you play in the background when you are alone and it makes you feel nostalgic even when you are born after the good old eighties' and that's okay
because you love yourself even if you know that people judge you for that but you never forget to remind you that you will do things greater than dating the boy who does not love you back because he is not the wrong one nor the right one and he should not be blamed for not returning the love you gave and you think it's okay because he is true and you still don't see the way your eyes give that feeling when you look at him or the way you soften when you feel his presence so does the way your words become pretty when you get the chance to talk about him like he is your favorite flower and sometimes you wonder if someone would talk about you to others about the little things you do that made them love you even more like you're the reason why the sun shines in the morning
but you don't really worry about that because all your heart really cares about is yourself and you only want to do things just to make yourself happy without the intention of harming others but you have to admit the times you are sad in silence because you think that the people you want in your life might not stay because maybe they still can't stand your light and they can't wholeheartedly accept your imperfections and i know that it hurts your heart but it only means they were really not for you in the first place and even when you love them you still have the right to let them go for your sake
maybe you should love yourself first, like the way you would tuck the strands of your short hair behind your ear when it falls over your shoulder not because it blocks your view but because you want to fully concentrate on the little things you are so into doing and you know it makes you happy and you think nothing else matters but what you are doing now and you love that
but you still don't understand why you can't solve the simplest math problem
