Dreams

15 - - Mel Brooks' Young Frankenstein

"Is no one here certified in the medical field?"

There I was, a techie, standing on stage. In front of our biggest audience of the show. And not a single audience member was a doctor or nurse. No one. Our cast member who played Igor had stepped on a piece of glass that had fallen off the set, and I was (apparently) the best suited to help him. Our directors had gone AWOL, MIA, whatever you wanna call it.

The show was Mel Brooks' "Young Frankenstein," the musical, but our production (for some reason) was made so people could see what we did backstage, behind the curtains that are typically closed. So the stage was in full view of everyone, and all the lights were on so any audience member could see everything. Well, they certainly got a show. The scene where the doctor is performing a sort of Vulcan mind meld on the monster had just started, and the machine with the levers had lots of glass on it, for some unknown reason. We had a particularly small techie in the machine to shake it when Igor pulls the levers. Apparently she shook it too hard, because a piece of glass fell off and shattered on the ground... . .. right where Grant was moving to step. Fun fact: he decided his Igor doesn't wear shoes.

"EVERYBODY STOP...." yeah, the cast froze. Audience, not so much. Some of them even got their phones out because they saw it happen.

"Grant (AKA Igor) just stepped on glass. Somebody get him a chair, and someone else grab the stool from the lab. I need the red med kit and the emergency one with it. Somebody clean up the glass that started this mess. Also, someone run downstairs and grab a clean towel. Hustle! " Dunno where I got the leader skills to do that but oh well. Got those things pretty quick, sat Grant down on the chair. I folded up the towel on top of the stool, then put Grant's foot on it. Gloves on, then time to work. Somebody handed me a mic, and I blindly put it on to appease them so I could help Grant. The show never stops for some of them.

"Alright Grant. Listen to me. I'm gonna pour some hydrogen peroxide on the wound, then pull out the glass. I'll pour more, then staunch it with some gauze. All I need you to do is sit back in that chair and take a deep breath." He sits back and breathes in, then breathes out. I pour, and his breath falters. I remove the glass gently, then pour more of the liquid. I grabbed the gauze and pressed it to the wound.

"Grant, buddy, how are you doing?" He gave me a thumbs up, and motioned for me to continue.

"I'm gonna look for small pieces. If I don't find any then it's fresh gauze and to the hospital." He nods, then breathes in again. Breathe out. I pull the gauze off his foot and use the flashlight on my radio to search for glass. There wasn't any more, so I poured more hydrogen peroxide and got a new piece of gauze, then wrapped it tight with a bandage.

"Hey Grant? We're done. There's no more glass that I can see, so I'm gonna take you to the hospital now. Don't worry about your car, I'll have someone bring it to your house later." I turn to the audience and sat, "Thank you for being patient with us, but I have to steal your Igor for the rest of the show. Have a good night, be careful on your way home. It's snowy out!" People clap, but I'm too busy taking off my mic and Grant's to notice. I grab my keys and coat, along with his, and get him a shoe for his unharmed foot. We limp our way out of the stage door, and to my car. I lay him down in the backseat with his foot propped up on the door, then get in the front seat.

As cold as it was outside, I had to put on the AC for him. I mean, the boy had just stepped on glass. He's gotta be sweating. I turned the radio down, but kept it loud enough to occupy his attention for the drive to the hospital. I grabbed my phone and called ahead, because I didn't really know if I was supposed to or not so I did just be sure. The phone rang one. two.. three times... and a lady picked up. Couldn't be any slower, it seemed like.

"XXXXX Medical Center. This is Cindy, how may I help you?"

"Hi, I have a friend in my car right now who stepped on a shard of glass. I cleaned him up the best I could with some hydrogen peroxide and gauze, and I'm driving him over now. I didn't know if I was supposed to call ahead or not, so I did just to be safe. Is there any way you could help him tonight?" Looking back on the dream, you can tell I was kinda panicking from how much I was saying lmao. Cindy was quiet for a moment while she processed what I said, then told me that the ER was about to close for the night so I was just in time for them. Lucky us, not so much for the nurses trying to go home.

She told me what to do, then hung up so I could focus on driving. I kept Grant updated on where we were in proximity to the hospital, and told him when we switched to gravel and back to pavement. Eventually, I pulled into the front of the hospital, and parked. Someone walked out with a wheelchair for Grant. I opened the door slowly so I didn't hurt his foot, then helped the nurse help him into the wheelchair.

"Alright Grant, I'm gonna go park my car, then I'll be right inside. Hang tight," I said. He looked at me strange while he processed what I said.

"You're staying? For me?"

"Well of course, I'm the one who drove you here. Can't just abandon you, can I?" The lady looked at me impatiently, then tapped her watch. "Shoot, you've gotta go. I'll be right in Grant." I waved to him, then got in my car to park it while the nurse brought him inside. I rushed in with them, worried they wouldn't let me at least sit with him. I've been in the hospital for the same thing before, and it sucked. My sister had to bring me, but she wasn't allowed in the room because it was too small. Different hospital though, so hopefully it's alright here.

I asked Cindy, who was still at the front desk, where the nurse had taken Grant, and she pointed me to a room around the corner in the section labeled 'ER.' I thanked her and sped over there, and sat with Grant for maybe 2-3 hours for what could have taken 30 minutes at most. This town sucks.