I never thought I would return to thank you...

Chapter 33

Tetsuya's P.O.V

"Why are you crying then?"

What? I was crying?

I reached up to touch my face and sure enough, I was  indeed crying.

"Stop the car." I whispered, looking at my clenched fists on my knees, shaking as more teardrops fell.
"Tetsuya? I-"
"Stop the car!" I lost it, I couldn't hold back anymore, I yelled with all I had, which startled the driver but he did slow down to a halt.

Not waiting for the vehicle to stop, I opened the door and got out, ignoring my brother's calls.
"TETSUYA!" Seijuro-nii panicked, trying to follow after me.
His attempts were in vain, as I quickly crossed the busy street to get away, even now I'm surprised as to how lucky I've been to not get hit by a passing car.
I ran not caring, my vision blurred with tears as I turned corner after corner, bumping into people and getting weird looks.

Coincidentally, we had stopped near the place where I attempted my well deserved death. At the time, I felt as if the world was telling me my survival was a mistake and that I should've stopped breathing long ago.

"A mistake.." I slowed down as I neared the dreadful bridge. Still as empty and deserted as it had been before.

The edge was so close..

So close..

I-

"TETSUYA!" Strong arms pulled me back, a death grip on my shoulders hurt me as I collided with someone's chest. "What do you think you're doing huh?! What are trying to do! What?!" As I was turned around I saw none other than the one I had tried to run away from... because I was weak..
Nii-san started shaking me, to get my attention, his grip got even stronger as he yelled to get answers. Answers I didn't have..

"I'm sorry.." I whispered.

I'm sorry I feel like I'm such a mistake, that I'm such a burden and that I'm making everything harder than it is. I'm sorry I agree with Haizaki-kun and that I don't love myself. I'm sorry, I just want some peace.

"It won't happen again." I don't know if I can promise that.
The hands on my shoulders left, leaving behind a chilling warmth that was soon replaced in the form of a hug.
The redhead was hugging me, showing such affection openly, in public, was quite rare for him even after he found out we were twins, the same blood.
"What were you thinking, Tetsuya?"

What was I thinking?

"I... don't know.." The bridge was so close I just.. "I guess I just.. blanked out for a moment..."
The last sun rays fell over us, creating a calm, peaceful scenery which made me drowsy but at the same time... brave and honest. I wanted to show him all my thoughts..

And so I decided to do it.
As late as we were, I was tired of keeping it in.

Loosening his grip around me, I took a step back. "Nii-san.. may I ask a question?"  He looked at me surprised, his scarlet eyes worried and curious as he nodded.  A car passed by in the deserted road, and for a moment I felt scared I would be hated, so I hesitated. Which made the redhead even more worried as I swallowed hard.                        
"If... if an Akashi, isn't supposed to lose, ever.. what happens if we were enemies?" His eyes opened wide, mouth hanging as he tried to form words and reach out to me, but I took another two steps back, continuing. "What if the two of us were in the opposite sides of the same court.. what would happen then? Wh-"