Stuff I Wrote For School

"You Old Folks These Days."

This was another Seventh Grade assignment. We were learning about using exaggerations  in stories to make them funnier, and we read an example of this called "You Kids These Days" or something like that. Basically it was about elderly people saying their lives "back in the day" were much harder than how we have it now. This story assignment was to reply to the elderly person with our point of view on how it's actually our lives that are harder, using exaggeration. 

You old people have it all wrong!! You're the ones that had it easy! Let me tell ya.

First of all school is absolutely terrible! I have to wake up before the sun is even out so my mom can drive me to school from *town name here* (just saying that instead for privacy reasons) in a big dumb tin can on wheels! I turn into a zombie for the entire morning! I get into school and people run AWAY from me! Not to mention I get a strange craving for brains.

Also, math was so easy back in your day! Nowadays we have to do really complex extremely hard stuff like adding and subtracting! But the worst one is trying to find the mode! It's sooo hard! You old grandmas and grandpas NEVER had to do stuff like that!

In ELA, we actually have to WRITE LINES!!! In HANDWRITING! 7 million times! It's absolutely horrible, and don't even get me started on how we have to use computers! Computers are so hard! Doing stuff on the computers is like climbing a mountain that's 5 million feet high! And we have to sit on the cold, hard floor! The floor is so cold, we might as well be sitting in a freezer! And you think YOU have aching joints! Luckily we get to eat inside a furnace at lunch so we warm up pretty fast.

And then after lunch we have to survive ten more hours of school! They are just torturous! I mean, we spend a whole class in the torture chamber in the basement! That's just how mean the teachers are! But my teacher is the worst! She lets the class skip two periods of class having a party!!! Isn't that mean? Another thing is when we need help, the teachers don't even help us! No, they just stand around and complain about how tired they are, and how BORING it is here. Well try being us! Plus,my teacher always forces us to sing in art class! I hate that the most because I can't sing! Every time I try to sing, glasses and windows break all over the world! And that's before I even open my mouth!

Plus, when I get home I have piles and piles and PILES of homework! I have 300 foot high stacks of homework papers! And that's just in one class!! Everyone has to do tons of homework because the school system is so horrible to us poor innocent kids. *Pout*

Now that you've heard how hard my life at school is, let me talk about my weekends! I sleep so much that there's practically only an HOUR of weekend left when I get up. That hour is usually spent updating my iPod. The update takes five hundred years and by the time it's finished the NEXT update is ready. Plus there's no time to work on movies. Then, I go on Pinterest and get addicted to it, 800 hours later, i'm FINALLY done on pinterest and then I have to start my CHORES!

My chores are so horrible. First, I have to wash EVERYTHING inside and outside of the house, BY HAND!!! Then, I have to walk to the zoo and clean out all the cages. FOR FREE!!! After I walk home, I have to do laundry for 7000 hours and THEN I have to wash EVERY SINGLE DISH in the house by hand, EVEN the CLEAN ones!!!!! Then I have to clean my room and by the time i'm done i've aged 5 years! UGH!

Okay let's talk about money nowadays. At the concession now, it's like 400 dollars for a fork or a spoon. The food is like 1000 dollars! Back in your day that kind of stuff was only like 2 dollars and you thought THAT was expensive! I think you oldies are just cheepskates!

And music these days just SUCKS! There's so many wannabes! (Fake Coughs) Justin Beiber (Fake coughs again). Your music sucks too, but not as much as OUR music!