feelings get me in trouble.
opening up only causes issues.
yet,
i never learn.
me having feelings results in only getting my feelings hurt.
me being closed off never hurts.
me telling people things i wouldn't normally makes for worry and stress.
me keeping to myself never causes that.
thinking people will be there for me the way i am for them,
only results in heartbreak when they aren't.
thinking someone is loyal to me and only me,
creates a sorrow when i know they aren't.
i know it is best for me to keep to myself.
it used to not be an issue for me,
it's all i knew.
but there are some benefits that tend to overshadow the drawbacks,
until they are in front of me yet again.
and then here i am,
promising to be as closed off and emotionless as i used to be.
s.d.
