MILK [Matty Healy]

Bad situations

Alyssa

Working at the diner was already proving to be a mistake, everyone was there. Swarming. I hadn't even gotten to know a great deal of people, yet I'd obviously managed to piss some off.

After Matty had introduced me to his girlfriend, I clocked out of work early, going straight to Jai's house where my next shift started, the sun setting.

"You've only got- let me see" Jai trailed off, searching through his phone to see how many jobs I had tonight as I casually pulled my work shirt off. He was faced away as I grabbed a different shirt and pulled it over my head along with a jumper.

Jai had seemed to befriend me after I'd met him in the city within the first week of me being in London. I could say he was one of my friends. Although we hadn't spent a great deal of time getting to know each other personally, we enjoyed killing time together and he'd hired me to help him with drug deals. It wasn't the safest of jobs, I had to admit, but Jai kept me safe enough.

"Jai?" I pulled my hair back into a hair tie as he hummed in response, barely looking up from his phone. "Why did Matty pass out?" I was hesitant with asking; I knew I probably shouldn't ask personal questions about people I hardly knew.

Jai looked up from his phone, quickly finding my eyes in the dimly-lit room and I felt threatened by him for a moment. However, his expression swiftly went back to being neutral and I relaxed.
"Matty mixes shit- and a lot of it" He shrugged his shoulders, putting his phone in his pocket. "Doesn't know his limits, I guess"

I understood that the conversation was over and not to ask further, I was new to this crowd and wasn't yet sure what was classed as crossing the line.

=

Jai had told me to meet him next to the multi-storey car park on the street that I first met him on, after I'd finished my two deliveries. My whole body was numbed by the bitter weather and every time the wind blew, I jumped.

Worry started to set in as I counted the twentieth minute that I'd been stood in the same spot; my body was tense from the cold. I'd called Jai a few times but he hadn't picked up.

I didn't know where I was. I didn't know which way was home and I didn't know anyone in the area. I chewed on the sleeves on my jumper as my anxiety heightened.

A slim figure suddenly stumbled around the corner, metres away from me in the alley.
They slurred something incoherent, reaching towards me and stumbling into my body. I realised that I'd been frozen in fear as I forced myself to start moving in the opposite direction. One of my feet was crossing the other though and my legs locked together as I hit the ground- hard.

The man attempted to kneel next to me but practically fell as well, I weirdly didn't feel threatened however so stopped trying to run, my knee throbbing in pain. I sat up, quickly looking at the man who had managed to scare me so much.

"You?" I was faced once again with Matty- his mouth slightly ajar and his brows tilted with confusion. The first time I met him he was high, but not like this- not this wasted.

"Are you okay?" We asked each other in unison after what felt like hours, but was probably seconds, of silence. He waited for me to answer as I glanced down at my jean-covered knee that was now soaked in blood and his eyes followed.

"Shit, Alyssa" he muttered, his eyes threatening to close. "What happened?" He asked slowly, swaying slightly and I realised he was quite disoriented. And this was a bad situation. My knee cut open and a man high out of his mind down an alley at night, god only knows why my life brought me here.

After calling Jai a few more times, he swiftly made it to the alley, panting from running.
There was minimal conversation as we made our way back to Matty's- the closest house- as Jai and I struggled to keep Matty from falling.

It was the first time I'd been in his house and the place was a mess- random items of clothing and glasses scattered around the living room and bottles of wine sat around, most of them half empty.

"Matty had messaged me before going to the alley" Jai dabbed my knee with cotton wool and water. The only choice I had was to take my jeans off to clean the cuts on my knee and was now sitting on Matty's kitchen chair in my large jumper and knickers. "I don't know what's gone on- he does this when he's upset"

I sat in silence as Jai talked and began putting rubbing alcohol on my broken skin, making me flinch and bite my lip. It didn't feel right listening to Jai tell me about Matty, a boy I didn't know, who was now throwing up in his bathroom.

"Why do you care?" I inquired in a hushed tone as Jai shifted about on his knees, getting the bandages. He looked up at me, confused and tired.
"What? Why wouldn't I?" He gently wrapped the fabric around my cuts as I laid back in the chair.
"You're his dealer- it's money for you if he buys more shit" I was trying to guess what Jai was thinking as he quickly taped the bandage and stood up, putting the kit away.

"You know fuck all about us, Alyssa" He shook his head and I was shocked by his sudden change, followed with panic. I'd said the wrong thing, it's not how I wanted it to come across. "I shouldn't have started this conversation" he sighed, leaving the kitchen before I had time to say anything and I stood up carefully, picking up my blood-stained jeans.

After grabbing my things, I began limping down Matty's hall towards the front to leave and slid past the bathroom door that was ajar.
"Where you going?" I heard a croaky voice from behind me that startled me at first and I turned around.

Matty leant against the toilet, peeling his eyes open slightly to look at me.
"Home" I attempted a smile, sympathy pulling on my stomach as I looked at him. I waited a few seconds before he replied, a few strands of hair covering his eyes.

"Cupids Avenue" He smiled weakly, closing his eyes again.

He was a strange man.

I nodded before turning again, feeling someone take hold of my upper arm before I could leave.
"You should stay. It's too late for you to walk" Jai let go as I turned to him, keeping his kindness to a minimum, still irritated by what I'd said.

=

I had overheard Matty asking Jai to stay for the rest of the night 'just in case it happens again' he'd said. I guessed that he was alluring to the fact that he could pass out and after that Jai had helped Matty get to his bedroom.

The sofa was where I would spend the night. Jai had stayed in the spare room, not speaking another word to me before going to bed. I attempted to tidy the living room a little, putting things together on the table and folding up a blanket that had been thrown on the sofa.

I knew I shouldn't have seen it. The needle. So I pretended that it hadn't fallen off the sofa and quickly picked it up with my thumb and forefinger, sliding it in between a few cups on the table.

I was a little shaken, sitting on the edge of the sofa and wondering if I would sleep tonight. I didn't know these people. I didn't know these men. I didn't know where I was.