Vividly Dreaming

The Almost Break-Up

I'm uncertain on how long we've been together but I want to say it's been at least 3 years. And of course, with any romantic relationship, not everything is rainbows and sunshine all the time. Mac and I have had our disagreements on numerous occasions but we would always agree to disagree. Lately, things had been distant between us. We would barely speak to one another. On this one particular day, we decided to have a discussion on why we had grown so distant. At first, we just sat there in our living area awkward silence for what felt like forever. I'm not the type to discuss my emotions and feelings and Mac had always had a problem with that. He just exuded passion in everything he did. We could not be more opposite. Finally, Mac just rises from the sofa and knelt down in front of me and pleaded with me "Please say something...anything...Keira can you talk to me." And I can't even bear to face him. I had never seen him so hurt before so I just stupidly replied with "I don't know what you what me to say." He then sadly stared at the tile floor and muttered: "how did we get here?" That question stunned me. I too wondered about how our relationship had become so nonexistent. I then remembered one of our happier times early on in our relationship whenever we had first begun dating. I asked my friend Jackie and her lover Adam to come to hang out with us at the music festival that Mac was headlining. Mac had always hated riding tour buses so just told Jackie we would ride with them to the festival. On the ride there Mac started tuning up his guitar and warming up and he began to strum one of my favorite songs 'No Sunny Days' and he gently leaned against me. I simply just wrapped my arms around his waist while he continued to play. That festival that night was completely sold out and one of the best shows he ever played. I snap back to our current situation. Mac looked at me those eyes I need a map to find my way back. He gingerly grabbed my hand and said "Baby focus...I need you right here." I think myself at this moment "this is all my fault, why have not noticed you in the past month?" I have struggled with my mental health all of my life. It can be terribly difficult to tell people how I'm really feeling. I'm now fully aware of what I should do. I find strength in what I need to say to my partner. "I know I've been out of it lately and not really speaking to you and I'm sorry for not being open with you. I promise for now on I do my absolute to be more vocal." Mac replied with "Thank you, Keira I care about you so much and I get worried when you don't talk to me." I nod and agree with him. "I know my anxiety has been bad lately with work and school but I shouldn't hide my feelings from you." I tried to say this with the biggest lump in my throat. Mac just squeezed my hand and said "Baby it's gonna be alright. Just don't forget I'm always here for you." He gracefully reached into his back pocket and pulled out a little black box. He opened and asked me "I just wanna know will you always be here for me?"