"Zoe stop, put that back" I whispered really low at my 3 year old sister. She ignored me "please baby your giving me a hard time" we were at the grocery store picking up a few things. I had to take her every where with me, sometimes it get difficult but its been our life for the past three years. After giving birth to Zoe my mom was diagnosed with Cancer. The first year wasn't so bad she was able to take care of zoey, by the end of year two my father walked out on us because he claimed it was too much for him to handle. With that being said its been my sick mother Little Zoe and I. She's everything to me, I know if my mother doesn't beat cancer shes all I have left, she will be mine. This year my mom been worst thank god I had graduate high school at age 17. I couldn't go to college because my father walked out and I had to take care of both my mom and Zoey. I worked two jobs to help my mother out even though she claim I didn't mean too but Cancer treatment cost a fortune and I was saving up god forbid if anything happen to my mom I know I would be covered for awhile.
"Chocolate cake" Zoe says in her little voice not knowing how to pronounce it properly. I hate saying no to her but sometimes I had too, she have this weird obsession with chocolate cake from watching too much peppa pig. I frowned and grabbed the chocolate off the shelve and put if in our shopping cart. I looked at the cart to see if I took everything and went on line to check my items out. I gave the cashier the money, thanked her and walked out. I put Zoey in her car seat and threw the bags in the trunk. I drove to the pharmacy to pick up my mothers medications and drove home to start dinner. Today was my only day off instead of enjoying it I was home doing the usual, taking care of my mother and baby sister. To be honest I cant remember the last time I did something for my self or even celebrated my birthday in the past three years. Since I graduated out of high school early my friends were still in school, this is their senior year. I honestly don't even know if I have any friends, I feel like everyone have give up on me since my mom was diagnosed. I'm a 18 year old with no social life. I don't even have that much time to check my Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and etc. Even my best friend doesn't call me anymore.
"Zoe you want to take a nap now and when dinner is ready I'll wake you up?" I asked her as I bring her upstairs to her room to take her a bubble bath, she loves bubble bath it doesn't matter what time it is shes always in for bubble bath. "Okay" she said smiling at me I can tell she was tired. After her bath I tucked her in and head downstairs.
"Mom, what are you doing?" I asked my mom as I see her going around cleaning "just cleaning I haven't been able to do anything and I'm tired of staying in bed all day and you having to do everything" she responded her voice was weak, I can tell she wanted to break down but she always been so strong, I know she wasn't but she would act strong for Zoe and I.
"Doesn't matter besides I already cleaned yesterday, how about you sit on the couch and watch some T.V. I'll join you while I make dinner." I smiled and took her hand. She started to look different God I'm so scared I don't want to loose her but Cancer is a tough bitch.
I went in the kitchen and started dinner, today I decided we should have fresh mash potatoes with baked chicken that would be covered in a mushroom sauce kind of like hunter styles chicken but slightly different with string beans. For dessert Chocolate cake I know Zoe is going to be happy about this.
"ZOE, wake up, come food"I shook her carefully, she could be a grumpy one sometimes but I figured she would be hungry.
We all sat on the table with silence except for Zoe who was playing with her fork. I looked over at my mom she didn't look so well, that broke my heart.
"Ma, you okay? You look out of it" she smiled a little I can tell she was worried "you should probably get some rest, you have treatment tomorrow anyways might as well get some rest" I drop my fork and looked at her, still acting said shes okay " Im alright honey" with a weak voice. Sometimes I feel Dad walking out on us made her worst. I know it made me stronger but for her she just cant stop blaming her self.
"Mom I know you are not okay, You dont have to pretend for me, maybe for Zoe but shes only three shes still out of it" "I know Cancer is nothing to play with, because when you get it, it knocks you down. Its either you fight back or it wins" I continue "It doesn't matter if you win or not, I know you tried fighting back, you are such a strong person, you don't have to blame yourself, no one ask for Cancer it just kinda show up knocking at your door. It could've been anybody, me, little Zoe or even dad" at this point I didn't realize that I had tears running down my face. My mom started to break down and Zoe stop playing with her folk and looked at me "Mommy you okay" she said in her little voice I shook my head. She looked at my mom "mommy you okay too?" She asked our mother, my mom just shook her head got up and gave her a tight hug and responded "Oh honey, mommy is going to be okay, don't you worry ok pumpkin I love you" I don't think Zoe really understood what she said but one thing she did know is "Luhh you too"
