Scars Don't Heal, They Fade - A 1D Fanfiction

Chapter 3

Chapter 3

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For the first time in years, I dreamt in color. 

I was so accustomed to the grey and black world of my dreams, dreams that stretched into an alternate universe, the universe of my mind. 

Usually my mind was a cluttered place, with dark limbs of thought stretching in every direction. But at the heart of it all, the cause for the looming shadows cast across the world of my dreams, was my fear. The uncertainty, the depression that paralyzed me. I could never move on from it, could never shed light on the source of it. My dreams were always confusing, and always left me wondering where my mind could have imagined it. My fantasies usually involved me struggling in the twilight, wolves or other such animals on my trail. Sometimes, it would just be a bleak search for something that was impossible to find. Occasionally, I would hear a voice. The voice wasn't one I recognized, but it would just whisper to me. "Shantaya" it would whisper lovingly, guiding me towards another peril, and my dream self always fell for it. I would fall into a hole and be buried alive, or perhaps drown in an unseen lake. 

Either way, my sleep was never as enjoyable as I would like it to be. If I ever explained my dreams to a psychiatrist, I was sure I would end up locked up in an asylum. Not where I planned to be for the rest of my life. 

But my first night in London, I dreamt about something completely different. Somebody I knew nothing about. 

I dreamt about love. 

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"Hello? Is anybody here?" I heard a muffled voice call out from the living room. The voice seemed so familiar, but I was still groggy with sleep, so I didn't quite recognize it. That is, until I laid my half open eyes on my alarm clock. 

The bleeping red numbers showed that it was 12:00 pm. I was supposed to have been up two hours ago. That must mean...the person in the living room was Liam. 

Oh. My. God. 

I felt like this was just a terrible, realistic dream, that if I pinched myself, I would wake up from it. I was used to nightmares, but this was too surreal. I felt the cool sheets against my skin, felt my heavy breathing as I started to freak out, looked out at the bustling street outside my little window. This was no dream. 

How long had he been there already? I was keeping him waiting every second I spent still in my bed. I literally jumped out of my little cocoon of a bed and sprinted over to my door, ripping it open hastily and sticking my bedhead out, keeping my night clothes out of sight. I was just wearing my pyjamas afterall. I didn't even have time to worry what I looked like right now, even though I'm sure a troll would have been more attractive. 

"Liam!" I said, seemingly happy. I felt my skin stretch into a false grin, feigning a smile. "I'm so sorry, I slept in. Must've been the jetlag" I explained, feeling incredibly stupid. Jetlag? That was my best excuse? 

"That's okay , it happens" he said with a heart melting smile. His perfectly white teeth flashed, and I had to pick my jaw off the floor. Get it together, girl. Learn what it's like around normal people. 

"Your Dad dropped off the extra key at my place this morning anyways" he said, flashing a small bronze house key. That explained how he got in. I didn't even have my own house key yet, so it was a good thing incase nobody was home when we got home. 

Dad was that close to the Payne family, was he? This could be good, or it could be bad. If he was close enough with them, he would approve of me wanting Liam. But if he was too close, and expected to have us act like siblings, that would not be a good thing. But I pushed both thoughts out of my head. I'd have to focus on being friends first. Baby steps to becoming functional again.