Randomness Book!

VENTO EXPRESSO

Hello, it's been a while since I have updates but I'm going to go off down below. Don't read if you get triggered by my emotions and be warned ima curse a lot.

For those who actually stayed and actually care. Thanks.
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    This is alllllllll about my real life fucking problem. I'm sick of this. Tired. And just want to give fucking up. Every single day of my fucking life. I get told off for something that isn't "perfect" about me. I just know none of my friends in real life would even read this but listen here, this goes for everyone. You do not know what is going on in someone's life, unless they have fucking told you. You do not know how much they are really hiding/hurting behind that smile of theirs that seems to always fool you. Stop telling people off because they aren't like you.

   I swear almost every fucking day I get told off for not having "fashionable" clothes because they are all old and mostly ripped or faded. Stop fucking assuming I'm fucking rich cause i go to Disneyland a lot. You can bring you OWN food into the park. We don't always buy the expensive food there. I don't fucking pay for my tickets. My mom fucking words there you dumbass.

   I'm tired of every one saying that i must have the best family in the world cause i don't. Its really fucking broken and messed up actually. I fucking HATE Christmas and every other "family" holidays because Oh yes. I don't have anyone to celebrate it with. Cause guess what. My stupid dumbass dad always ruins it all. My mom and dad. I always always had hope for them to get back together until my mom fucking told me that she was seeing someone in 5th grade. She fucking kept it a secret for about 3 fucking years. It hurt so bad and it still hurts me. I can't even consider my "dad" as my actually father/ parent. What type of bitch like that steals things from us and sells it. What type of father calls his children worthless and retarded. My family is so fucked up that im not even going to say the full story. I burst into tears when i see a happy family or a happy family celebrating the holidays together. It's some thing I've always wanted. Hecc, I've never even had a chirstmas tree, decorated the house or anything like that which brings the holiday season to me.

     I get told off for being in an online relationship and none of my family approves / supports me in it. They and school hoes say it's all fucking fake. It hurts. It fucking hurts so much. He's the one person who makes me happy after you (family and hurtful friends) destroy me. 

    YES. I AM A CHUBBY GIRL. YES I FUCKING KNOW THIS ALREADY AND I HATE BEING TOLD OFF FOR IT. MY ARMS ARE FAT WHERE THE SAG, I HAVE A DOUBLE CHIN, MY STOMACH STICKS OUT AND ITS ROUND AS HECK, MY THIGHS. MY FUCKING THIGHS ARE HUGE AND EVERY ONE TELLS ME OFF FOR THIS. YES. I DO WEAR A LAGRE IN CLOTHES. YES I LIKE MEN SHIRTS CAUSE FEMALE SHIRTS SHOW MY TUMMY TOO MUCH.

   I HATE MYSELF. BUT THAT DOESN'T GIVE YOU A FUCKING RIGHT TO TELL ME OFF IM TIRED OF YOUR SHIT. SO FUCKING TIRED. IM NOT PERFECT, I MAY FAIL EVERY SUBJECT IN SCHOOL. I MAY NOT PASS MY FINALS. I MAY NOT BE THE GIRL YOU WANT ME TO BE. IM ME. IM THE GIRL WHO IS CHUBBY AND WHO HAS A FUCKING AMAZING BOYFRIEND. I HAVE AMAZING ONLINE FRIENDS. I AM THE GIRL WHO MAKES PERVERTED JOKES ALL THE TIME. IM THE ONE WHO HATES PEOPLE CROWDING ME AND I HATE PEOPLE MESSING WITH MY FRIENDS! I'M THE ONE WHO IS IN LOVE WITH A FICTIONAL PONY NAMED CHEESE SANDWICH. I LOVE DISNEY AND MLP AND PLAN TO BE A FUCKING CHARACTER AT DISNEYLAND. IM ME. I'M PROUD TO BE ME. I JUST WANT TO BE ACCEPETED FOR WHO I AM. BUT I HAVE TO HIDE MY TRUE PERSONALITY...

   I JUST WANT A BETTER FAMILY. I WANT A BETTER LIFE STYLE. I WANT SO MUCH BETTER..... All I want is him to be with me and help me through this hard time... All i want it a hug.. I'm tired of this..  3 more years of high school, 4 if I don't graduate on time.. Then I have a chance to be free... To be with him... I don't know if i can handle any more pain... I feel so weak and alone.. I don't know anymore how to feel. I'm so broken and I'm sorry.

This is the end of my vent. Thank you and good day. Please please stay strong everyone... I love you guys.