It All Started Here

Drip Drop

Hey guys, it's a new chapter but first I need to drop a few trigger warnings. There is mention of suicide and self harm in this chapter, so please read with caution.

~Cory

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Andi's P.O.V

Drip drip drip

Goes the sink

Drip drip drip

Leaks the bathroom tub

Drip drip drip

From the counter to the floor

Drip drip drip

As the blood leaves the body

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Numbness is all I ever feel anymore. I stopped going to school and stopped talking to friends because of it. I go to the club and get wasted on alcohol and the dance floor. I've hooked up with countless men and women. I feel my sanity slowly fading from me. I feel as if I am becoming my father. I hate this numb feeling. But I also love it. Maybe as if I've done heavy drugs. At the same time though I understand why dad does this, why he drinks and takes drugs, wasting his life away in something that feels more... comfortable.

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Why do I even bother anymore. I have nothing to live for. My father is an abusive alcoholic, I dropped out of school, I spend every fucking night in different clubs and bars, and my only friends are over twenty-one.

I've never actually considered killing myself before, I've thought of it from time to time, but never actually wanted to die. But lately it's all that's been on my mind. I've ran out of places to cut, that won't be noticeable in shorts and a tank top, so I keep going back over old ones making  them bigger.

I've thought of different ways to do it. Dad's gun cabinet? There's plenty of places around here to tie a noose. There's the train tracks out back, I know the train schedule pretty well. Overdose? Rat poison? The possibilities are endless.

Andi you need to get these thoughts out of your head. Think of the ways I can start over, lead a different life. Viper offered to let me live with him and Kit. They can find me a job, I can find a place to live when I get back on my feet, maybe I can find someone to love me for me.

I've been so overwhelmed. What do I do!? I want out of this place, out of my own mind!

I want to cry, and scream, laugh, and sing. Oh joyous day! I feel as if I've reached a point of barely living.

I am my own person, I don't need anyone or thing. But I feel so alone, In desperate need of guidance. I'm Superwoman. Who will be my savior?

I feel a sharp prick and look down as blood starts gushing down my thigh. I've gone to deep. Shit!

I think I've made up my mind. I pull out my phone and dial a number.

"Hello?" Comes a raspy voice on the other end.

I sigh as I run my hand over my face, blood left in it's place, "I need your help."