Just My Thoughts

Why

Why. A question that I ask often. I desire to know the answer to the question I ask. Though I barely get the answers I require I still ask them. Why must I think? Why must these dreams come if I don't want them? Why do I do this or that? It's hard to answer these questions but I ask them all of them time. I wonder, why. I ask, why must I think, due to the things I often think about. These things are almost never sweet or simple. My brain goes on a trip to it's darkest corners when left to think. I think of life and death. I think of how things have come to this or how things could go after this moment is over. I ask, why must these dreams come if I don't want them, due to the nature of my dreams. Dark and terrifying. These dreams crush me whenever I sleep. Sometimes I see the death of a loved one. Others I find my self alone in the darkness hearing every bad thing that has ever been said to me. Why do I do this or that based on the outcome of what I've just done. I analyze the things I do with no emotion trying to figure out a logical reason as to why I lied, why I smiled, why I laughed and why I cried.  Why did I do that which made one person happy but the other upset? Why do I talk when no one listens? Why do these things happen to me? Why do those who are broken feel the need to break me? Why must a husk of a being exist when it is not need? Why do my feelings disappear from my grasp? Why must my words flow in such a way that they upset someone? None of these questions can be answered, even when I'm not the one asking them. Everyone seems to want to know, Why.