Just My Thoughts

Alone

Is it bad to be alone? To feel alone even in a room filled with people? When alone you can almost feel the waves of emotion that pass through your mind. You can think clearly about anything and everything with no one and nothing to disturb you. But when you are supposed to feel happy with friends and family surrounding you why do you still feel alone? It's as if you know that something isn't right in what it is that you are seeing. Know this is not right can make you feel even more alone because no one else feels the same way. If they do feel the same. If they to feel alone then how would you know? How would they know? How would you be able to reach out to each other if you both feel as if no one else is there with you? I feel alone. I feel alone even when I'm smiling with my friends. It is rare now that I don't feel alone. A building full of people still feels as if I'm sitting in a dark and cold room by myself. No one to talk to. No one to help me escape. I'm trapped alone. It's deafeningly silent. Suffocatingly empty. When I'm alone I'm allowed to think. As I have said before thinking is not the best option for me. I'm free to feel afraid. My mind can feel this way and still hide it. That is just as frightening to me as the monsters my brain thinks of. Knowing I'm in my own mind alone yet still being with the people around me. No one ever notices that I'm trapped alone in my mind because my body hides it so well. I'm always alone. Trapped in my mind. Suffocating on the emptiness of it all. Wishing I wasn't alone.