coffees + jeno

xxviii

（   JENO   ）

I'm one of the the teachers' favorites. Unlike my teammates, except Taeyong, I never skip classes. Not even once ㅡ but I guess this day's different.

Kinausap ko yung mga kaibigan ni Lilac at pinakausapan silang libangin si Lilac habang inaayos ko yung setup sa room nila. Thank all the heavens for giving me the talent to play the guitar, I never knew I'll need it so bad. Nag-drive ako nang mabilis papuntang UST at buti na lang walang traffic kundi sira na lahat.

Bumili ako ng mga bulaklak kanina. Particularly, a lilac hand-tied bouquet. Hindi ko alam ang paborito niyang bulaklak, but her name is Lilac and she's as beautiful as lilacs, so I bought it.

I imagined my checklist and checked my equipments one by one. Flowers, check. Guitar, check. And. . . me, I guess? Check.

I texted Hina, one of her teammates and asked her to meet me here at the parking lot so I could carry the guitar and the other paraphernalia while she carries the bouquet.

Dumating naman siya agad na hinihingal at binigyan ko naman siya ng tubig. "Thanks, Jen. G na?" tanong niya na tinanguan ko naman. Kinuha namin lahat ng gamit mula sa kotse habang tinatanong din sila Ningning na ka-teammate din ni Lilac kung nasaan sila, para hindi kami makita.

Pagdating namin sa room nila Lilac, agad naming pinalitan ang mga kurtina at nilagyan din ito ng mga Christmas lights. Everything is purple, and I hope she likes it. Nanghingi na din ako ng permiso mula sa mga professor niya at buti naman, pumayag.

We scattered petals on the floor, and random gliterry stuff that Hina bought. I don't know anything about surprises, anyway. I'm not boasting, but other people are usually the ones who makes me surprises, not the other way around.

Nang ma-satisfy na si Hina sa hitsura ng buong room, tinext niya agad sila Ningning para pumunta na dito. At du'n na nga 'ko kinabahan. Huminga ako nang malalim at umupo sa swivel chair sa gitna ng kwarto. Nang maramdaman kong bumukas ang pinto at sinenyasan na ako ni Hina, nagsimula na akong tumugtog.

Kung hindi rin lang ikaw ang dahilan, pipilitin ba ang puso kong hindi na masaktan? Kung hindi ikaw ay hindi na lang pipilitin pang umasa para sa'ting dalawa.

I chose this song because it's like our current status when Harris and Adrianna came. Harris is taking her away from me. Adrianna keeps ruining everything. She was hurt because of me and I hate it. But what can I do?

Giniginaw, at hindi makagalaw. Nahihirapan ang pusong pinipilit ay ikaw.

I slowly faced her, and I saw her tearing up. I smiled, hoping it'll reach her that I'm telling her to stop crying.

Kung 'di rin tayo sa huli, aawatin ang sarili na umibig pang muli. Kung 'di rin tayo sa huli, aawatin ba ang puso kong ibigin ka?

When she sang along the chorus, I went to her and gave her the bouquet as I continued singing. Damn, Lilac Halili did change a lot in me in a short span of time. I never imagined myself doing this in my entire lifetime yet here I am, ignoring everything else in front of the woman I want to spend my everyday with.

Kung hindi rin lang ikaw ang dahilan, pipiliin bang umiwas nang hindi na masaktan? Kung hindi ikaw, ay sino pa ba ㅡ ang luluha sa umaga para sa'ting dalawa?

She's the reason behind my smiles, my chuckles and the color of my world. It's not bland anymore. She was the first one who showed me color. Purple. Purple. I saw that color the first day I saw her at Starbucks. You just made me feel something, Lilac, and I'm not letting you go. Not now. Not when I'm still breathing.

Bumibitaw, dahil 'di makagalaw. Pinipigilan ba ang puso mong iba ang sinisigaw?

Please say that your heart screams my name and not somebody else's, Lilac.

When I finished the song, she hugged me tightly as she sobbed in my chest. "Pipigilin ko ba. . . ang pusong. . . ikaw ang sinisigaw?" bulong ko sa kanya at umiling siya nang paulit-ulit. "Please don't, Jeno," bulong niya and I hugged her tighter.

I'm young, and I may or may not be ready for love. I'm not perfect. I'm not the nicest, or the most expressive person on earth, but I'll do everything for her. For her, for her, and for her only.