The Snake and The Toxic Smoke

Part 1

Pain that's all I feel. It's like a snake wrapping around my chest clenching tighter. If I move even an inch, it seems the pain intensifies and echoes throughout my whole body, so the only solution I come to is to stay frozen, frozen in fear waiting, waiting for it to end.

My jaw slams shut trapping my cries for help. Why do I do this? I do not know. Is it because I'm embarrassed or because I'm ashamed or maybe its because of guilt but what am I guilty of? Maybe I feel guilty because there are others in pain, much worse pain than mine they're closer to dying. They're the ones that need help first, not me, so should I stay quiet or do I quiet my screams because I'm afraid? Afraid of what people will think, They might think I'm another poor innocent soul lost to the pain and suffering of this cruel world.

My brain feels clouded and fuzzy like a fog machine overload. My vision becomes a blur nothing is being processed. My hands scratch at my chest trying to rip the snake away but since it isn't real my finger nails only cut through my bare skin tearing away at my flesh. As blood drips down I feel the pain and I want it to stop. I want someone to save me, anyone.

I look to all the blank faces that I do not trust. They are oblivious to my pain how can they not see it burning in my eyes. I try and blink to clear my vision but nothing focuses. Darkness begins to creep up on me, shit did I forget to breathe? My jaw opens to gasp for air only to close again without letting the screams leave. The fog machine in my head feels like it's becoming thicker and darker turning into smoke.It travels down my throat but it is not ordinary smoke it's much worse it's like toxic air and it's burning my insides.

It then travels to my lungs near the same place that the snake is curled around me. Now the toxic smoke burns my lungs too. Make it stop. I need it to stop. It burns so much inside me that tears burst from my eyes. The toxic air burns my throat so much my screams and yells for help that I hid inside me burn away. My tears are now noticeable people begin to ask questions but it's too late. Now my voice is gone I can't tell them what is going on inside me. I can't tell them it's going to get me, the toxic smoke is killing me and I can't breathe.

They walk away in confusion, maybe even purposely avoiding to dig deeper in me and to find out a cure for what's killing me. They don't really want to know. They only pretend they do to make themselves feel better. As they leave I stay frozen until the snake crushes my chest one last time. After that, just for a few minutes longer the toxic air stings me. Then it stops or think it does and I don't feel anything nothing. I don't know if I should cry or laugh.

I want to laugh at how pathetic my little body fought and lost. I want to cry because I have nothing left. The fuzziness of the fog machine remains in my head. Thoughts float around never getting anywhere. Numbness captures my body. It charms me into confusion and manipulates me into believing the emptiness inside me is peace.

I guess it's better feeling nothing then the overwhelming deadly snake and the toxic smoke of pain.