dreams

chapter 1.

I got the "gift" when I turned 7 years old.
I saw my mother bringing me to school. I saw her leaving.
I saw a girl with a pink hair tie around her wrist walking in my direction.
"Eva" she said.
"I'm 6 years old." She said
I told her that my name is chermilo and I told her that I just turned 7.

We had a small conversation.
Back in those times the conversations we had where still innocent.
Something I honestly really miss.
Now when I see kids being innocent I remember the innocent little me I once was.
That was a long time ago.
It was before I got this "gift."
Back then I was happy,
Fearless.

I saw Eva in my dream.
Talking to me.
I didn't know Eva back then.
How can you dream about someone you don't know?
I had this dream on my 7th bday exact.
I didn't really saw a meaning in that dream.
Until something strange happened the day after.

My mom brought me to school, I saw Eva and we talked. Eva had a pink hair tie around her wrist.

It really did happen in real life.

I considered it all a coincidence and didn't put much meaning behind it.
But now every dream I had did happen in reality too.
The innocent Me still didn't see any danger behind this.
One reason of that was because, I dream rarely.
But my innocent view on those dreams changed.

I was looking at a action movie. In that movie many people got kidnapped. And every kidnapper carried a gun.

That night.
That night I dreamt about something terrible.

I was going to play with Eva at her place. We walked to the bus station.
Suddenly we saw 2 man with guns walking towards us.
"I'm Eva's uncle. I'm taking her with me." One of the man said.
"But Sir. I am going to play with her at Eva's house." I said polite.
The man looked me cold in my eyes. Which caused shivers running down my spine.
"I don't care, boy." He said calmly.
He roughly grabbed Eva's arm.
Eva started struggling. She threw her other arm in every direction possible. The fear burned in her beautiful blue eyes. I grabbed Eva's jacket.
Something was terribly off in this situation.
But before I could pull Eva away from that man the other man grabbed me and threw me on the ground. He took his gun and pushed it against my throat.
"You are not going to tell anybody about what happened today!"
I nodded fast.
He gave me one kick in my side.
I tasted a little bit blood in my mouth.
After he kicked me, he left.
He left with the other man and Eva.

I woke up.

This can't happen in real life.
This is just a dream, no, it's a nightmare.
I thought.
But when Eva asked me if I wanted to play at her place after school I quickly  said no.

The next day there was a terrible message in the wallpaper.

" Eva Fedani. A 11 year old girl got kidnapped at the bus station after school. Her parents are really worried about her. The girl has blonde straight hair, blue eyes and small freckles on her cheeks. On the day she got kidnapped she wore a pink jacket and a white t-shirt with a cat on it. She wore blue jeans and white Adidas shoes. The stripes on her shoes are black. Her hair was tied up in pigtails. Please if you see her, or somebody who looks like her, call 911."

I was in shock. It really did happen in real life too!
A tear silently escaped from my eye.
I decided to tell my mom about everything, even about the dreams.

She told me she had it too.
"It's difficult to control the gift." Mom said.
"It's a gift which gives you the opportunity to decide what happens in the future. You watched a movie about kidnapping and shooting, your brain processed this in your dream and then Eva got kidnapped. Don't worry not all our dreams are this terrible. And we can only dream 4 times a year. So make good use of them"
She stood up from her chair and looked at me.

"We should start meditating." Mom said
"Why?"
"Because, Chermilo, that's the only way of learning of how you can control those dreams."

A warm smile took place around her lips.
"We can do it, Cher!" Mom said
Now I smiled too.
"Yes we can!"

Back then I was 12.
Now I'm 17.

I'm missing my sleep.
I accidentally dreamed of my dad killing my mom when I was 15.
The meditating didn't work for me.
So now I'm missing sleep.
Sleeping is dangerous. Not only for me but for the entire world.
I just rest now.
I started working on Eva's case.
I'm trying to find out where she is and if she's still alive.
She's still not back from the kidnappers.

Right now I live on coffee and cigarettes.
My life is stuck in a circle.

School - working on Eva - eat - rest.
And then it starts all over again
School - working on Eva - eat - rest.

I ain't even taking care of myself anymore.
Just sometimes I need distraction.
So I go to the club.
Flirt with a girl and end up laying in her bed, naked.
The next day I feel like I have a little more energy.
But that fades away real fast too.

I hate my life.
I hate me.
I'm terrible.

But I can't kill myself yet.

Because I am the only one who can find Eva.

I AM going to safe her.

It's my only purpose in life.

And after that

I will kill myself.

Since that's more safe for the world,
And because, I simply don't want to live a life like this anymore.

I'm cursed.