The Big Aha

Chapter 13: Gotta Figure This Out

 Shit was getting thick.....A month flew by and Omar and I were together every weekend that I was free. Some weekends my mom wanted to keep Mikey so there would be Saturdays he was suppose to be with me but my mom had him instead. We had gone on at least three more dates, all on a Saturday. He had even come by my house on Sundays's that Mikey wasn't there and brought me coffee.  

He was always a gentleman and never even mentioned sex. Nothing beyond simple kisses had taken place. He took me to the Jazz By the Lake and it was amazing! I never even knew that place existed. It was beautiful. The water was calming and Omar went out and bought a brand new blanket just for us to sit on in the grass while we snuggled close and listened to the music.  

It was becoming obvious at work that something was up between us. He would walk me to my car and many of the women from the office would stare. I didn't really care. Only Robin knew what was up with us and she wasn't telling anyone. She was seriously a cool, laid back chick and I liked her a lot.  

This man was taking over my senses. He was showing me new things that I just didn't know were even out there. He was such a sweetheart and fully understood when I wasn't available because of Mikey. He also felt like his son came first and he never let women meet him. He said his son had literally never met any woman he dated. He was never really there with any of them enough to introduce them. I respected that and admired him for it.

I still kept this charade up with Derrick. He would often call me while I was out with Omar and I would slink off to try and appease Derrick by talking to him like everything was great. I had no idea why I hadn't ended it. Well, yes I do. Guilt. I felt guilty, plain and simple. I had promised to be there and do this long distance thing with him. But there I was going out with another man, and by all accounts I was falling for him fast and hard.

But something was still eating at me with Omar. His sons mother. She was still living with him. I learned a few things about her, including her name. He gave me bits and pieces to their history together and it all sounded legit enough. But she hadn't moved out. I never really questioned it because hey, I had a boyfriend anyway. But it was also a factor holding me back from dealing with the Derrick situation and fully letting Omar in. He spent most Saturday nights with me and even some Sundays. He would even head over to hang out with me after work some days before he had to go pick his son up from the after school program he was in.

But I was skeptical. I had gotten the big "aha" before from guys. I ignored the signs and in the end the joke was always on me. I refused to be the fool again. So, although I loved being with Omar, I kept him at arms length. And I continued to keep Derrick in the picture because well.... I just didn't know which way to go.

                                                        ~~~~~

Derrick was still out of town working on that big construction job. I was making up more and more excuses to cut conversations with him short. I had a feeling he was probably sensing something was up but he hadn't bothered to say much.

I had casually mentioned the new guy at work to him a few times. I was trying to find a way to let him know I was in fact seeing someone else. I mentioned Omar and how we worked closely together quite a bit. I even threw it out there to Derrick how Omar flirted with me here and there.

I wasn't sure about revealing all my lies to him just yet. I wanted him to be aware of Omar but I still felt guilty as hell for just how far things had already gone with him. We hadn't slept together but there was no doubt we were getting close. We went on dates regularly and there was always some kissing involved.

How was I going to tell my boyfriend I was feeling another guy and had already begun dating him? I was in a pickle and didn't know what to do. I wanted to ease Omar out there to Derrick and maybe drop the bomb that he and I should split up. But was that a fucked up thing to do while he was out of town? Do you break up with someone over the phone like that? I figured maybe I needed to wait until Derrick was back and do it face to face.