Before (Blaze x Ein) {Completed}

Chapter 10 - looking back

⚠️ Suicidal actions mentioned ⚠️

Ein's POV

I'm no longer running, I'm miles away, I'm walking now, just thinking. I couldn't help but remembering, Blaze's face, it looks just like.....my thoughts are very hesitant.

Blurrs that's what my mind holds, memories, I'm afraid to look into them. For the fear that the bad ones will return, and that it will bring all the pain with it. But..........his face, it just won't slip away from my thoughts.

It hit me. Like a bullet. I couldn't take the impact. I wasn't ready. Not yet. I wasn't ready to remember. It came like the break of dawn, in the blackest night. A black hole, waiting to be filled, even though it is endlessly sucking everything I have. But, it can't take this one thing, the one thing harming me...............Eliza.

I can't help but feel............. worthless.... helpless.... not existent.... purposeless.... valueless.... evil............................................ but I know that being bad is a choice, being evil is a force.

I suddenly find myself in a unknown place, but very familiar, the unknown familiar place I call home, I'm asleep, because when I sleep, is when I voyage through my horrid memories.

There I was............home? My house from when I eight. I was at the table, doing my homework, I heard crying. I went upstairs to knock on my sisters door. I walked in, she turned and looked at me, then wiped away her tears. "What's wrong?" I asked. "Nothing." She replied. "Why are you crying?" I questioned her again. "I'm just having a hard time with homework." She lied, I could tell. She was 16, in high school, but she was still smart. I went over and hugged her. I told her what she always told me when times got hard, "it will always get better, it has too," I smiled while squeezing her. She told me to go finish my homework before my parents returned home, on the way out she called my name again, "Ein..." I turned to look at her, "Yeah?" She had no hesitation, "never give up, on anything, ok?" I have my biggest gracious smile, "I promise!" I stated as I darted down the stairs.

Half an hour later, my parents arrived home, I have yet to prepare dinner. Though, my father gave mercy, for he had assigned me extra, extra homework. My mother prepared leftovers which was rare, we almost never kept leftover food. My mother shouted from the kitchen, "Dinner!", she paused for a minute, "Eliza! Dinner's ready!", no response, "ELIZA!"............ silence. "I'll go grab her," my mom said, as she headed upstairs. My father turned to me, my head slammed against the table, "next time you go get your sister! You shouldn't force your mother to have to get her! We're not your slaves!" I held tears in my eyes, "Yes father." I responded. He grabbed my face and pulled it in towards his, "look at me when you talk! And that's 'yes sir' to you!" He screamed as he hit my head multiple times.

You could hear my mother open the door to my sisters room, the thumps of her walking across. Then.............................................deadly silence. The quietest moment of my life, before the devastating screeches of pain, terror flooded the house like a flood. My mother came bolting from the stairs, my father met her at the bottom of the stairs, she handed him something, a note. He turned to stare at me, still standing near the table, he growled, "You."

He approached me very quickly, punching me to the ground, he began to scream, "You useless, worthless, painful, disgrace of a child, IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!" He screamed as he kept beating me, but I couldn't find it in myself, to believe his words, even if I wanted to, I didn't believe that it was true. Blood, it spill everywhere, my sister dying of overdose, my parents left for the Hospital. I was left............... thoughtless.

I had no idea, what to feel, what to think, what to say, what to do, what to believe. I saw the note had been left to the table in the hallway, not far from where I was placed, I very harmfully moved myself in range to be able to kick it. I kicked the leg of the table, it took two tries to get the note off, I reached out, hesitation, that was what held me back, I was afraid to look, but I did, devastated, I stare. The note had written, "I did it because of Ein!" Her signature lie at the bottom of the page.

Heart broken.
I lay.
Soul broken.
I cry.
Mind broken.
I welt.
Body broken.
I fight.
Strength broken.
I strive.
Everything broken.
I believe.

That was the moment I lost everything, I lost my control, my body, my soul, my mind, my heart, my courage, my strength, my everything. But I gained one thing, belief.

The greatest power lies within us, I may be weak on the outside, but I have looked death in its very eyes, and said no. I wasn't giving up.

I wasn't done fighting......

Oh my Irene, all hell broke loose, this wasn't a big cliff hanger, but I probably scarred some people, but it just goes to show you, that you gotta look deeper than the surface. This maybe a little confusing if it is, just say in the comments, and I'll reply on what's confusing you. I really hope you enjoy the story, it was really hard expressing all of these feelings on to "paper", you know what I mean. Oh and BTW, all of this is fake, Ein in the series, as far as I know, doesn't have a sister. This past that he has expressed how he was abused, that also as far as I know, didn't happen, but you know it totally wouldn't give him a chance at becoming a good character in Aphmau's details or anything, I'm totally not giving any hints or anything!! Jk! I love you Aph! I love all you who read my story as well, I hope you enjoy have a wonderful, plentiful day!! Also have a great Thanksgiving!! 🦃 ❤️💙