If you’ve read online romance, then you have probably noticed a string of trends that may happen in them. The writer thinks that it’s endearing, but it can come off as controlling, or even to borderline violent obsession. This is a list of trends that tend to happen, and where the line is between being sweet, and being a stalker. I’ll also just list some trends that I notice because it just plain bugs me in addition as to the reason why. This list isn’t in any particular order. Please keep in mind that this is solely my opinion and that I’m not an expert nor a psychologist.
1. Watching their partner sleep.
If the person was invited over and slept in the same room, fine. If it was after sex, fine. If the person had a job of guarding their partner, fine. Sneaking into the home, into the bedroom, to watch their partner sleep, not so fine unless it was a covert guard duty and the person whom he or she is trying to protect is stubborn to the point of stupidity. Sneaking into the home, into the bedroom, to watch their partner sleep for weeks when there is no such danger? Definitely not okay, and is creepy!
2. Following their partner.
Like the above: if permission is granted, fine. If you are worried about your partner because there could be real danger with actual threats involved, fine. If you do this everyday, it would probably annoy the partner, but it should be fine if there is a real threat involved. If you follow the partner not only to protect him or her, but to get information about anything and everything about him or her, with or without an actual threat (other than you) that’s not endearing, that’s stalking and creepy!
3. Telling their partner what to wear.
Despite this being a “female” trait, this applies to both genders. The occasional help of nipping, tucking, and straightening out the partner’s clothes, especially for special events, is natural. Some partners even go out of their way to digging out the other’s blackheads. It’s called grooming. Sometimes, they each create a full outfit for the other to wear, or they ask for a bit of input, if they trust in each other’s fashion sense. Now telling the other what to wear and how to wear it every single day? No. I don’t care if Kim Kardashian allows her boo Kanye West to sex her up, and claims to love it, that is not a “healthy” relationship, and I am right on this. Their marriage is a business deal, and the only reason they are staying together is because the longer they do, their nuptial deal will increase in value and they’ll both get more money. The only reason a woman as beautiful as Kim Kardashian is happy to allow this narcissist maniac to dress her up every day is because money is involved–their marriage–and that’s probably the only part of the day he spends his attention on her that doesn’t involve sexual intercourse. Please, do not confuse any of these things being possible, because the entire list is a possibility, with any one of them being healthy for a equal and mutually loving relationship.
4. “Shut up” kisses.
I saw someone complaining about this, and it made some sense, but I wouldn’t bar this completely in romance. If he or she was crying their eyes out, and trying to talk (but may be incomprehensible), these kisses may actually be comforting. Kissing would interrupt them, yes, but it may calm them down so they can breathe and start their story over. It depends on the characters and what was being said before the kiss. Would you really risk getting slapped if he or she was ranting at you and blaming you for something?
5. First kisses.
Why do first kisses, especially from virgin lips, involve it turning into a Frenchy? Just saying. My first kiss, nor second, third, or any kisses after that involved tongue at all. Every time my ex tried to kiss me, as soon as our lips touched, I jerked my head back. Yes, I know I shouldn’t base everyone’s romantic antics on my own (or lack there of), but where’s the physical development? Where’s the get comfortable stages? More importantly, why, in some stories, would you have the first kiss lead immediately to sex? Sure, there are one-night-stands, but both partners know they probably won’t see each other again, so they can pretty much go for it with whatever little embarrassing flop be covered with a fake name and possible blurry face (if alcohol is involved). Now if neither partner’s lips are virgin, OK, the new couple could get into a French mode, it depends on their personality, but whatever. My only real complaint is the whole first kiss going immediately into sex. Otherwise, it all depends on the characters.
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