Scars {h.s au}

-3.0-

It had been a month since Harry's birthday, and something had unfortunately changed between us. He'd suddenly become all secretive with me and hiding stuff. I had tried to go on his phone to play a game to try pass time, but he'd changed his password, and when I asked him what the new one was, he bolted over to me and snatched the device from my hands. Then, I wasn't too fussed to be honest, I even made a joke about him having a shit tonne of porn on there, but now, three weeks later, it's becoming a bit ridiculous. We have always told each other everything, and I understand that as people grow older, they tend to not share as much, that's usually a gradual change, but this was such a drastic and sudden change that I wasn't used to and it honestly made me feel upset. I'd rather him just tell me, 'there's something on there you can't see right now, I'm sorry,' rather than causing a full blown argument saying 'why can't you just let me have my privacy? for fucks sake, why do you have to know everything? just leave it be and don't touch my phone, got it?' That argument happened a week ago, and since I stormed out, I've been ignoring him. He's made crappy attempts at contacting me but I can tell he's only doing it because he feels obligated to, not because he actually wants to. 

That brings us to now. Me, sat on the sofa in the living room of my small flat. Its not too small, and not to big, just the perfect size for me on my own. The front door opens into a small hallway which leads forward to the living room. Its a good size, with a small sofa against the wall opposite the window, with a tv in the corner of the room and a bookshelf near the entrance which holds books, dvds that haven't been touched in years but I refuse to throw away, and other bits and bobs. The wall that the sofa is against is a deep navy blue, whilst the others are a bright white. The sofa is an enticing mustard colour that compliments the blue wall amazingly. Exiting the same door that you enter in, there is a rather long hall that is also painted a bright white, there's no windows in the hall so it's to try and brighten up the place as much as I can. The first door on the left leads to a small kitchen that stresses me out a tint bit as Harry is usually over and it feels quite cramped when were both in there and I'm trying to cook, pacing from opposite ends of the room to gather ingredients and utensils. The primary colour in there is basic silver.The second door on the left opens to a bathroom that only has a bath instead of a shower. Obviously there's a toilet, sink, cabinets and completed with navy accents. The door at the end of the hall leads to the 'master' bedroom , which is mine, obviously, and it has an ensuite that holds the shower. All the walls are painted a light grey which also has a slight shimmer when the light hits it a certain way. Finally the only door on the right opens to a spare room, which my older brother seems to have claimed during his many stays. 

But anyway, the TV seems to be playing crappy reality daytime programmes. Technically, I should be at work. I work at the local hospital on one of the wards reception desks. I organise which patients go to which beds, organise when the porters come to take away dead bodies and contact relatives of the patients. Harry also works at the same hospital, but he tends to work on a different ward doing vitals like pain meds and blood tests. I usually don't see him there so he wouldn't know of my absence today. I called in sick as this week long separation from my best friend is really starting to hurt. We've never gone this long without contacting each other but I refuse to talk to him first because that would be giving in for something that isn't my fault at all. The longest we've gone without contact is 2 days, and that was only because he went on holiday with his mum and sister and had no phone signal where they were. I sat, thinking to myself about the memories I have with Harry, until a knock was heard on my door. My sad state made me remain seated as I know any important people I know have a key to the front door anyway. so if they really needed me, they could let themselves in. But the pounds on my door were insistent and driving me crazy, so I got up, stormed towards it and opened it, fully prepared to argue with whoever was on the other side. But when I saw who it was, I silently turned and walked away, leaving the door open behind me so they could come in. Instead of going to the living room, I went to the kitchen and put the kettle on. Whilst it boiled, I pulled down two mugs and made tea in both of them, seeing as he constantly drinks it. I could feel his presence lurking next to me but I remained silent, staring at the kettle waiting for the button to pop back up to indicate that the water was boiled. Once it did, I poured the water in both mugs, added sugar and milk, and handed one of them to the man beside me. "I won't ask you why you're here, because I don't need to know everything do I?" I said to him, radiating pettiness. I didn't hear a verbal reply, only a heavy sigh. 

"I'm sorry Annie, I was out of line," I stayed quiet. hoping it showed how pissed off I was. With my lack of response, Harry put his mug down on the counter, did the same to mine and pulled me into a hug. "Please talk to me, love, I don't like the silent treatment and you know it." I was still silent though. Secretly, I was basking in the fuzzy feeling I weirdly got when he cuddled me. It kind of frightened me, considering I hadn't felt it before, but I just pinned it down to missing him.

"You were an asshole. Do you know how shitty that made me feel? You could've said it a lot nicer than you did, you could've told me to not go on it and I would've been okay with that. It was the fact that you shouted in my face and you were so rude. You know I feel about you getting that close to my face when you're angry Harry, you know more than anyone how much situations like that terrify me after what he did to me. I shouldn't have felt scared of my best friend." 

"You were scared of me?" he asked in a whisper, "fuck," he said and sniffled. "I never want you to be scared of me, I'm so sorry." his grip tightened around my waist. "I'm seeing someone." my stomach dropped. "That's why I didn't want you on my phone. I was just getting to know her and I really like her. I didn't want you sending any messages to her and scaring her away, that's all. I'm having dinner with her tonight and she's staying at mine, you can meet her tomorrow if you want. Your approval means a lot to me."

I couldn't process what he was saying. I felt his chest rumbling as he spoke, and I could hear him clearly, but I felt strangely emotional. These alien feelings were making me feel weird and I needed to try and sort out what the hell they were. But until then I had to pretend they didn't exist, so I pulled away from his embrace and smiled, "sure, that would be lovely." I couldn't let him down so I lied. The last thing I wanted to do was meet the girl but I could tell that he wanted me to, so I'd do it. For him.

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hiiiiii suckers, imma call you that now because of my username loll :)))))

I hope you're all (the 3 of you that read this shambles we call writing) good and somewhat enjoyed this update. Let me know what you wanna see, what you enjoyed, what you could live without etc. I'D LOVE TO INTERACT TO MAKE THIS THE STORY YOU WANT. EXCEPT FOR THE ENDING, I KNOW EXACTLY HOW THAT GOES DOWN.

Anywaaaaaays, I'll hopefully see you soon

Bye suckers

all my love and hugs

-N xxx