my mom always told me to smile, because I looked better that way.
I knew she meant well, but from the start I could tell that something was wrong. is, wrong.
my only reaction was that a smile is just a frown upside down.
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
he was warmer than I ever thought he'd be.
I wouldn't let go of him, not again—not even if I should've, or had to.
I wanted to make yoongi happy, I wanted him to feel safe with me and to smile whenever I looked into his beautiful, beautiful eyes.
but my past still dug deep, buried like a poisonous thorn in my side.
I couldn't function properly without yoongi by my side.
I refused to eat; refused to speak—too afraid that if I did, he'd disappear again.
I didn't even want to blink.
"jimin.. what did they do to you?"
for the first time in a while, I felt my heart lurch as I gazed at him.
min yoongi, I'm so in love with you.
I only cracked my monotone mask with a smile so harsh and forced that it only portrayed as the most pitiful, ugly grimace in history.
I shook my head, staring at the plate of eggs and bacon in front of me.
it looked so good, and yoongi had made it for me, so I had to eat it.
I had to, but I just couldn't.
the fork shook violently in my hand, dropping with a loud clatter to the floor and my shoulders shook in regret.
my heart hurt more than it ever should've in that moment, because min yoongi was next to me—with me, even though I ruined him long before I realized I was capable of doing so.
all I could say was a broken "I'm sorry", tugging fistfuls of my hair in pure aggravation.
I did this to myself, yoongi shouldn't be here.
but dear god, I'm selfish.
and that was when I saw min yoongi cry for the first time.
🍒
"we're going to be okay, chim, we're going to pull through, alright?"
