The Squad Tales

The Squad adopts a baby.

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DaNevGal
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Alli found a baby in the rain.

So she took it home.

Why? Because she's NICE.

The End.

Wait no-

Ok for real.

Alli opened the door and set the baby down on the counter, and searched the fridge for some milk.

Then Maddie screamed hysterically. "ITS A CHILD!" She yelled.

"Yeah, no sh*t." Dust walked into the kitchen. "Maddie get me some ice cream."

"What the f*ck no, get it yourself."

"MADDIE I AM SAD."

"Why?" Alli set down the milk jug. "Because Belle broke up with Rumplestiltskin at the end of season 4." Dust broke down.

Danielle came into the kitchen. "I saw it. He was ugly."

"THEY WERE PERFECT FOR EACH OTHER." Dust wailed.

"Uh, guys?" Nev asked. They all looked at her. "Alli brought a baby home."

Danielle picked up the child and held it out. "What do we do with it?"

"Uh, keep it?" Alli asked. "No no no no no no NOOO. Fur babies only." Maddie crossed her arms.

"Please honey?" Alli gave her the puppy dog eyes. "F*ck." Maddie closed her eyes. "GAHH! Fine."

"Yay!"

2 weeks later.

Maddie opened the jar of baby food and waved the spoon in baby Skyler's face. That's what they decided to name her. Skyler Grace.

"Open you mouth and digest the food, child." Maddie growled and poked Skyler's mouth with the spoon. Skyler laughed, but didn't eat the food.

Dust walked in to see Maddie and Skyler having a stare down. "EAT THE FOOD YOU LITTLE SH*T." Maddie flailed her arms.

"Danielle! Feed the baby. I give up." Maddie got up and left. Danielle sat down.

"Here comes the choo choo train." Danielle cooed. But the baby screamed. "Jesus." Danielle jolted.

Nev sat down. "Alright, here's a secret. I will pay you a dollar if you eat a bite of this food." She tried to negotiate with Skyler. But the baby only laughed and clapped her hands. "Worth a try. Okay, I give up." Nev picked up her phone and walked away.

Dust sat down and pulled out her knife. "All right we can do this the easy way or the hard way-

"JESUS CHRIST DUST NO-
Danielle grabbed Skyler and pulled her out of the high chair.

"What? I didn't do anything wrong."

"You cray." Nev's eye's widened.

"I know."

"I'm home!" Alli set a grocery bag down on the counter. "Dust your chocolate is in there, Danielle I made sure I got you all red Starburst, Nev, you get skittles, and Maddie you get nothing." She smiled.

"WHAT?" Maddie screamed. "You've been rude to Skyler. No candy for you." Alli huffed.

Maddie tried to snatch Dust's knife, but she pulled her knife on her throat. "Toca mi chocolate y ye cortará la gorganta, lo me hagas la prueba campesina." Dust hissed.

Maddie put her hands up. "Okay damn." She walked away.

Alli came into the room. "They found a home for Skyler."

"Oh no!"

"Can't we keep her?"

"But we've taken care of her."

"YYYES!" Maddie yelled. She started doing the funky chicken in the middle of the kitchen.

"Okay you need help. And that's coming from me." Dust gave her a strange look.

"They're going to pick her up tomorrow so we gotta clean up and make us look like we aren't insane." Alli picked up a broom and groaned.

"But we don't want to!" Danielle whined.

"Me neither!" Alli whined back.

Soon they were all whining and groaning in frustration. Except Maddie, she was still dancing.

And that was that.