Hey, guys!
So today's installment of Nobody Cares Blue, Why Do You Write These Things? will be pretty random.
At the moment I'm petsitting for my boss and I kind of get in a weird mood when I'm here.
Like I feel cut off from everything and lonely because I usually never have a whole house to myself.
What's weird is, I'm dying to have my own place. (I already have apartments picked out that I want to live in lol. Just need a good paying job, which will hopefully happen after college.) But I think why I don't love being here is that it's not my place.
Like I can't fully relax or something? I don't know.
This is the third time I've housesat here and I really don't mind it. Plus I get paid good money to do it, so I can't pass it up. But I would rather not be in a house that's not mine all day, surrounded by animals that aren't mine? Does that make sense?
I don't know.
I'm no Sam Mitchell guys. haha! I can't pull it off like he does.
Plus...I'm like...really lazy 😂
I don't want to wake up and play ball with the dogs before I feed them and the cats. Can't I just lay in bed? lol.
And like I said, I just get lonely. Which makes me post a lot on instagram and whatnot in the hopes that you guys will talk to me 😭 I'm pathetic haha!
Petsitting/housesitting is just my side job though. My real job is making jewelry for a jewelry designer (who I'm housesitting for).
I got my first job ever when I was nineteen. I was worried I wasn't going to find a job that I wanted because I was a little old to be getting my first job when I had never been to college or even graduated high school.
But I ended up getting a job at the bead store that my mom worked at.
I loved it at first, like I think everyone that starts working there does.
Then...like everyone does, I began hating it.
My boss was an asshole after awhile.
And when I was going through my major depression that I told you guys about, he yelled at me and (TRIGGER WARNING) I basically made plans for the rest of the day about how I was going to kill myself.
Pretty fucked up, right?
I mean in a normal circumstance, I probably would've just gotten pissed and brushed it off. But I was really depressed and anxious and just in a bad place, so I couldn't just brush it off.
There were times during this depression that a customer would be really rude to me and I would go into the bathroom and cry afterwards.
Customers there could be soooo rude, for the most unnecessary reasons.
So I can't remember exactly how it all went because it was so long ago, but I think I was enjoying myself a lot there until my bipolar disorder got out of hand.
Then being there was just really hard.
I eventually got better, like I told you guys.
But being at work never got better for me.
I became a bitch to people.
Like before my depression, people loved me. Some people would come in just for me and ask specifically for me.
I don't remember how things were when I was depressed but I know it wasn't good.
Then I was just terrible after I got on my medication.
YOU ARE READING
Rambles in Blue Jeeps
Non-FictionDidn't get enough rambling in your girl Blue's long ass author notes? Well, first, you must have the patience of a saint. And, second, here's a rambling book just for you!