Simple ...

chapter five.

Simple was almost well enough to leave, but Belle made us stay a few days more than we needed.  Said she liked the company.  As we left, she said I should come by some time, ‘Bring Simple if you want.  There’s a bed and food on the table whenever you have need of it.’

  I thanked Belle for her kindness and told her I understood there was more than one way of telling a story.  Simple was pulling at his ear, the way he did when Lizzie cries, or when his thoughts won’t settle or his mind won’t let him hold on to one long enough to say what he’s feeling.  He didn’t need to tell me, I could feel his fear alongside my own.  I took his hand, the one that didn’t want to let go of his ear and led him towards the clearing, to the path that would take us home.

  On the way, I told Simple Gran wouldn’t be mean to him no more, that I wasn’t going to let anyone hurt him again. We walked slowly; there was no need to hurry as I was in no rush to see Gran.  When we stopped every now and then to eat the food Belle had given us, I wondered how it would be.  Simple was still pulling at his ear, while trying to tell me Gran was gonna be mad at him. Then he said he couldn’t go back.  ‘Lizzie s-sad, Simple didn’t get b-baby.’

  It didn’t seem to matter what words I used, his mind was stuck on Lizzie having what she cried for.  Then it hit me.  I would work on Lizzie!  The thought came like a flash of lightning.  If I stopped her from carrying on, Simple would stay out of trouble.  I was feeling better about going back with every step we took.

  We needed to reach the caves before it got much darker.  I could feel rain coming and the need for sleep was slowing my body to a stumble.  We staggered on and finally saw the mouth of the caves.  I never thought the sight of them would be welcome, but it was a temporary haven.  Better than what awaited us at Gran’s.

  We settled down on a bed of leaves that had been heaped in the open mouth of the cave by the wind.  I wondered how many folk had sheltered there and why, what was their story?  No better or worse than ours, I thought.

  Simple was mumbling things I couldn’t catch.  I told him to be quiet, to sleep; there was nothing for him to worry about.  ‘Lizzie don’t want a baby no more.’ 

  Not after I’m done with her, she won’t.  I knew all about the things she got up to in town. Zach had told me he’d seen her there, taking money for her favours.  Helping Tommy and Jack steal from folk’s homes while she lay on their beds.  Gran was right about folk.  Serves them right if they got things taken from them while messing about with Lizzie. It don’t make it right, mind, just the way it is.  There weren’t nothing for me to do about that, Simple was my only concern. 

  Right now he was sleeping, while the wind-whispered secrets filled the cave.  The name that might once have been mine, struck the grey, jagged rock and bounced in and out of my mind.  Imagination, just like Lizzie said.  All the games I had made Simple play, pretending to be someone else, anyone but Leanne.

  It didn’t seem to matter much anymore and I fell asleep, listening to the rain and Simple’s mind spilling out on to the dry leafy floor.  I couldn’t hear every word that passed his lips, apart from, ‘Simple make . . .’ which had got stuck.  I listened until I couldn’t bear it any longer and then I kicked him, gently.  He rolled over and this seemed to silence him.

  The warm night swallowed us until morning, when I awoke with Simple’s words stuck in my mind.  As if they had crept along the dry leafy floor and made a home inside my head, like an ear wig or some other living thing.  They were lodged tight, driving me mad, making me want to know what other thoughts lived inside Simple’s head.  What did those words mean?  I had the feeling it weren’t good.