Family First

Chapter 43

Chapter 43

~ Amarni P.O.V ~

~ The Next Day ~

I decided to take my mind off fucking up Jermz for a while, so that I can now concentrate on helping my family with anything that they need. I was fully on it until it hit me that he could be the father of this child, then it would hurt me if the child grew up fatherless all because of me. I can't even think about what he did to Chanel , it works me up and that isn't good for anybody, including myself because sometimes when I get angry I can't control myself and I don't think before I do or say anything. Its a personality flaw that I'm trying to overcome and by being around my loved ones , I won't have to battle with the conflict in my mind as such.

I've been revising for my business exam that I have tomorrow for over 2hours and my brain is exhausted. Its a lot of knowledge to consume. Luckily , business is one of my passions , so I'm motivated enough to do what it takes to pass.

I went upstairs to go check on Chan and she is still sound asleep, snoring her cute little snores. Awww.I watched her for a moment as she laid there in tranquillity. Her hair was tied in a bun , her heart shaped lips wer slightly parted as the sounds travelled through then and they were looking so kissable. How could I leave her? How could I treat her like I did?I'm such a bad person. I hope she doesn't hate me for not being there when she needed me, but I was hurt. I still am, but my hurt is hurt for her now.I really need to show her that I love her.

I shook my head to stop my mind from wondering. I need to revise. I went back downstairs to the laptop and continued my notes on Technology in a workforce. I went to my playlist on youtube and played J.Cole Ft TLC - Crooked Smile.

To Think, this is my last exam of the year and I'll be done. I haven't even taken the time to think about what I'm going to do with my life with a new baby coming into our lives. Tyler's already finished college , so the timing is quite alright for him, but me now I still have another year of college left. Am I just going to quit? Or do I make a better life for my family?

I started writing up my business plan, just incase I needed it in the near future. I could have a business and still go college and still look after Chan and the baby right? Or is that too much? I'll just write it anyways just incase. Who knows, it could blow up like the vision I have in my head.

~ An Hour Later ~

My revision break was fully pending and it was needed. I took this time to make myself a cheese toastee and orange juice. That was gone quick time. It hit the belly too. Anyways, I had to log into my college site and my emails to see my timetable for my exam and I saw that I had it at 9:00 am. I'm surprised I even remembered my log in to my email, I haven't even checked them in time. There was random emails from twitter and my college , but then I came across an email from my cousin

Jamal_anderson@hotmail.co.uk :

Yo Cuz

Just wanted to let you know that I applied for your college Abroad and I got in. I'll be flying out from Portugal in 3 days. Moving back to my old house in Croydon. How you been though?

Jamal.

Jamal is another one of my cousins that I spent my childhood with. He's been in Portugal for how many years now? I can't even remember, but I've missed him man. We used to buss bare jokes. He's a cousin on my dad's side and me , Evangeline & Jamal used to act like some unbreakable trio. It was heartbreaking when he went to Portugal for his dad's business trip but now he's coming back. I looked at when the email was sent and I noticed that he sent it two days ago, meaning that he's flying out tomorrow. Imagine I didn't check the email. God works in mysterious ways you know, it's great.