"loving them was the best and worst thing that has ever happened to me "
Renjun was locked up in his room, crying his heart out. His coughs were non-stop and it has been hours. His bed was stained red with flower petals the same colour scattered everywhere. It almost looked like his funeral.
From that monday till now, a week has already passed by and renjun really was starting to break. The knocks on his doors from his mother were weak by now. The miss calls from jaemin and jeno were almost never ending, there was also a few from chenle and jisung. Haechan obviously knew what happened to the poor boy but he couldn't just skip school with renjun even if he wanted to, he has a future to take care of but he would visit renjun everyday after lessons and try his best to comfort him. Haechan was breaking apart seeing renjun like this.
Renjun knows he only has two choices for his condition. He either goes for surgery or live on and eventually suffocate. Renjun doesn't want to just end his life, he is too young for that. There are still so many things in life that he has yet to experience. But if he goes for surgery, the feelings for jaemin and jeno would disappear and renjun will never be able to love them anymore.
"loving them was the best and worst thing that has ever happened to me" renjun whispered softly to himself, closing his eyes to rest.
The world really is a cruel place.
--------------------------------
Renjun woke up a few hours later on his bed with dried tears, knees to his chest. Renjun does not have much time left. The hanahaki disease lasts for a couple of weeks at least or up to a few months. It has already been almost two months. Before renjun could think further, a knock was heard on his door.
"renjun, i'm here" it was haechan.
Renjun weakly stood up and walked towards the door, opening it.
But what he didn't expect was his mother to be there too. Renjun and his mother's relationship was never the closest and his dad was bascially non-exsistent in his life.
"renjun, i'm really worried. Please" his mother spoke.
The shake in her voice made renjun tremble and so he decided to let her in.
Once they got in, renjun's mother gasp in horrid.
Renjun's bed.
Haechan saw how fast renjun was worsening and a tear fell on his cheek.
Renjun stood infront of his mother and held her hands.
"i-i'm sorry i never told you but-" he choked a sob.
"i have the h-hanahaki disease. I got it because i-i am experiencing an one-sided love and it has been a almost two months. I don't have much time left."
His mother couldn't believe her son's words. She felt like the worst mother ever.
They ended up all hugging, crying in each other's arms.
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An hour has passed after renjun's mother changed his bed sheets and layed a towel there when he needed to cough out. Renjun layed on his bed, face pale. His mother on the edge of the bed, holding his hands tightly and haechan on a study chair, patting his head. There was nothing but pure silence.
"can i s-say something" haechan spoke up.
Renjun and his mother turned towards him, waiting for him to continue.
"renjun, y-you don't have much time left and i'm so worried. Have you decided on w-what to d-do?" haechan's voice cracked helplessly.
Renjun's mother turned towards renjun with sad eyes, waiting for his answer.
Renjun knew it was time to finally make a decision but before he could answer, she spoke up.
"w-whatever you choose, i won't ever stop you. I will always support you in whatever you choose in life but i want you to think about all the people that are by your side, who loves and cares for you. There may not be a lot but at least there are....like us. She pointed to haechan and herself.
"and i still have a lot of things to say to you" haechan sobbed.
Renjun smiled sadly but there was a hint of happiness, knowing there are people there for him. He looked down and opened his mouth to answer.
"i....."
To be continued..
So what renjun will choose is the result of the poll so make sure to vote if you haven't. It would mean everything to me if you would give this book a vote! I'll see you the next time i update this :)
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