Turbulence

Chapter Seventeen - His Worst Nightmare

Here, have another chapter ;) Love you all xx

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Lily had been sitting in her bed for twenty minutes, trying to make herself get up and talk to James. She made up her mind that this couldn't go on any longer, especially when they were Head Girl and Boy.

Although she cared for James deeply and missed him - oh how she missed him - his smell, their talks, his hugs. It was too difficult for her to continue in such an emotional relationship after she heard from Petunia and her friends being angry at her for no apparent reason.

She remembered only the other week they had their sleepover and Lily was thinking about how she loved James, but didn't know how to tell him. It seemed too late now. She wondered whether it would have made a difference if she had told him.

She reluctantly got up and opened the door. James was sitting at his desk. He had given up being angry at her and had taken the kind, patient approach like he did when he first asked her out this year.

Lily saw James look up and smile. Her stomach flipped. She walked over and stood in front of him, refusing to return his smile.

"We need to talk." She said, betraying no hint of emotion.

His smile faltered. "Okay."

She left him over to the fire and took the armchair while he took the couch.

"Look, James -," she began.

"Wait, before you say anything, I have to say something." He said quickly. Lily didn't say anything so he continued. "I'm sorry I was stupid enough to think were seeing Remus behind my back. It was ridiculous. I realise now the kind of situation I put in that night at Hogsmede and I feel so irresponsible. I'm so sorry I lost my head and yelled at you. I know now that I should have told you about my Animagus form, I'll explain it all if you want me to. It just didn't seem that important at the time." James finished.

"I'm sorry too. I should have grown up and talked to you about but instead I was an idiot." Lily said.

James leaned over and held her hand. She didn't pull away, she just stared at them. At how perfectly they fit together.

"Are we good now? Can I kiss you?" James smiled mischievously.

Lily shook her head. "That's what I was going to say before. I - um - I just don't think I can do this anymore."

"What do you mean?" James asked, his eyes searching hers. They pleaded with her, telling her not to say what she was about to say. But she had to. She was going crazy with all these emotions.

"I can't be with you anymore. I can't do it. I got this letter from Petunia and - and, well, you saw my reaction. All these pressures and feeling are weighing down on me and I can't handle it James. I just feel so depressed all the time. I'm sorry." Lily sobbed, tears free-falling from her eyes.

James dropped to his knees in front of her and wiped them away. "Lily, please don't do this to me. I need you. You are everything to me and I've worked my ass off for you and now that I have you, I don't plan on giving you up any time soon. I love you, Lily. I love everything about you, even when you hate me." He said desperately. He clutched her hands, bringing them to his chest.

Lily burst into tears. No one had ever said anything like that to her before. She loved him too but she couldn't do it. She needed a break.

She rested her forehead on his and whispered, "I love you, too." James' eyes shot up and looked straight into her eyes. "But I think we need a break." His eyes turned from hope to pain. He had never cried over a girl before but he thought he might now. It tore Lily's heart out to say all that but it had to be done.