HOW TO BE A STRAIGHT ASS BOY.

10

As Mark said the words, Hyucks pretty eyes widened and he let out a whimpered ''M..mark, what the hell is wrong with you?''  to which the older just smiled and replied faintly '' I swear I don't know either. I have been having these whirl of thoughts since yesterday...its like having a sereis of flashbacks with you . Trust me, it was not a good feeling. All I felt throughout was a bunch of guilt coated with anger . I've been thinking about the us of the past. Well I know there is not much difference in our relationship as of now, but I just can't believe that I used to hate you so much, Donghyuck. I am sorry, but , I just can't accept the fact that you are the one you understands me the most since then, and even now. '' Mark was breathing fast now. It was obvious that the young man had taken a lot of courage to utter all the words he just shot, shot right into the poor younger's sensitive heart.

Yes. Donghyuck knew Mark hated him. Heck, even he hated him as much. But when Mark put the hatred in just simple word, he couldn't handle it anymore. But looking vulnerable and hurt was the last form of himself that he wanted to show this bloody asshole. So he just stood up from the bed pulled the blanket that was covering Mark and started walking out of the fully sunlit room. 

'' Hyuck..''

'' No Mark. I know.  And just like you said before, I weirdly understand what you are feeling because I AM FEELING THE SAME FUCKING WAY. '' Hyuck shouted out. 

He continued after taking a glimpse pf Mark's expression. '' I DON'T KNOW HOW AR WHY OR SINCE WHEN...BUT AS MUCH AS I HATE YOU, I KNOW IT...I JUST SIMPLY KNOW EVERYTHING. BUT I FEEL LIKE I SHOULD TALK TO YOU AND MAKE YOU SAY IT ALOUD SO THAT IT WOULD COME OUT OF YOU. .....YES AND AS MUCH AS I HATE YOUR FLAT ASS, I DON'T WANT YOU, OR PERHAPS ANYONE ELSE TO GO THROUGH WHAT I AM GOING THROUGH. BECAUSE I'VE BEEN COVERING MY HURT AND ANGER FOR A LONG TIME. NO ONE EVER ASKED ME ABOUT MY DREAMS...MY AIM, MY ANYTHING....NO ONE EVEN ASKED ME IF I AM OKAY. AND YOU KNOW WHAT....I JUST WANT TO RUN AWAY FROM THIS STUPID LIFE OF MINE. UGH.''  rants...all the rants ....maybe not everything, but some parts of his inner anger for everything got released.

Hyuck complaining would actually be viewed as a wrong thing...because he had everything. Parents who worked hard to satisfy their one and only child's wishes, who loved him more than anything. Good friends who never gave up on him. Grandparents who totally accepted his gay self. Fast wifi connection, a bigass synthesizer which he didn't know how to use , and anything anyone could ask for, including his killer looks and crazy fanboys.

Yup...he had everything. But he felt like nothing was for him.  He felt like a hollow block of wood.( this shit is quite deep....idk if i have matured enough to write abt empty thoughts...so i'll wait for my not so fetuss ass to be able to express it at some point....thnx for bearing with my nonexistent writing skills. ok bye)

With that ranting session ended, Hyuck walked out by slamming the door so hard that Markiepoo right there flinched a little. Just a little you know. 

Mark was trying to process everthing Hyuck said...but sadly, his dumbass forgot half of what the younger said. All he could remember well was the younger using the word flat ass. Yeah...Mark was a bit retarded. Just kidding. He could only remember Hyuck talking about how no one really asked him about his feelings. His hearts pace increased as he felt like he could relate with the boy....but not that much, because Hyuck was there to ask him if he was ok....even if it was with venom and hatred, Hyuck was there. 

Someone was there.

Hence, Mark felt compelled to thing deeply . Deeply about the beautiful tan skinned boy.