Dear My Idol, • KNJ

ONE;

dear my idol,

dear my idol, my friend and my lover; only metaphorically obviously.

i don't know why i'm doing this. even now my hands are trembling thinking about if you ever saw this, if you ever saw the person i've become.

someone who rather than calling you or texting you would write these, write letters you will never see.

i understand you. i understand what you would say if i was to call or text you. i know you've been busy, i know you'd be sorry.

being away from you has taken a tole on me, it's been a long time since i've spent any time in your arms. since i basked in the glory that is your smile.

now i must watch you online or on the television, i must watch you joke around or hug or love people that aren't me. people that came after me but receive so much more love than i ever did.

and the funny thing is i keep trying to justify my feelings. saying to myself that there is no way that you don't miss me, that there's no way we could go from seeing each other everyday and spending each moment with each other to you not even remembering me.

but if you actually did, i wouldn't be here.

i'd be on the phone to you talking about your music and your traveling and occasionally about how my life is going. but i honestly don't care about my life, just yours.

you've been my idol since the day we met and the day you left.

yours and only yours,

y/n

a/n

i'm starting this with the hope to wrap it up in 50 chapters and about 2 weeks

ain't gonna stick tho