Boy In Progress

First Progression

"It seems different now." Mum says, squinting at our new home. "Now that he's gone." She adds.

I just nod. It's all I've been able to do since the accident.

Mum pulls the car into the driveway and turns off the engine. The windows are fogged and covered in tiny droplets. I concentrate on the muffled pitter-patter of the rain being sprayed on the roof of the car instead of mum's heavy breathing.

Riley purrs in my lap, grabbing my attention.

"Well," Mum sighs. "These boxes ain't gonna unpack themselves." She pulls the key out of the ignition before climbing out of the car and splashing through the puddles to the front door. It's almost comical to see her trample up the steps and into the house to avoid the rain. What's she running from? Her hair is already wet.

I grab the blanket at my feet and rap Riley up in it. Then I, too, hop out of the car, letting the clouds douse me in their tears as I take a slow stride into the house.

It smells just like Grandpa: old newspapers and cigars.

I hear Mum shuffling around in the kitchen. "Hey, Ash?" She calls out. I put Riley down and she untangles herself from the blanket before disappearing somewhere. Then Mum approaches me. "Hey, baby, I'm gonna go learn how the shower works. You gonna be okay unpacking some stuff by yourself?" She runs her fingers through my hair.

I nod.

"Good." She plants a caring kiss on the side of my face. She used to reach my forehead but ever since I outgrew her, she can only reach my cheek without elevating to her toes.

I watch her stalk back through to the kitchen and turn the corner before I sigh.

First Amanda and now Grandpa. At least Grandpa left us a house. The only thing Amanda left me was a hole in my heart and an empty soul. I miss her every day.

I stroll through the rain, enjoying the grey clouds and their accompanying sadness, adjacent to mine, as I carry in each heavily-packed box from the car.

If Grandpa hadn't left his furniture, I'm sure the whole house would be pretty empty, even if we attempted to move everything we owned into it.

Grandpa was an international insurance consultant. He made good money referring people and helping his clients. He was the oldest man who lived on this street. After all his friends moved away or passed on, the new generations inhabited the neighbourhood. I'm sure no one in this town has ever had to work for anything in their lives, except for a good tan.

Gilligan Park, Arizona is said to be one of the finest communities in the state. And lucky us, here we are.

But we don't belong here. We belong back in Brennam Springs. Anyone could take one good look at us and figure that out immediately. Mum and I both look like we make a living by dusting someone's chimney or something.

But Amanda? She could blend in anywhere. She always had no trouble fitting in or making friends. She seemed to rack up friends all over the place, every time we moved. I was often caught avoiding her boy-crazy, eager-to-meet-me sleepover buddies.

Amanda had so much character. She was the one cheering at the football and basketball games while I was the one watching from the sidelines.

She never needed her big brother to protect her. It always seemed like her big brother needed her to protect him.

I turn around to the two damp boxes in front of Grandpa's old office. I bet Mum packed nothing but Amanda's old trophies and dance medals. I doubt she put anything worth keeping up in that box.