HEARTACHE

april 7th

Dear Jack,

I didnt write for a couple days, I saw you again, but you were with another girl in the park while I was taking a walk. you were hugging and i felt nauseous i couldnt bare to stand anymore my knees gave up on me, we made eye contact then I raced home in tears, I dont care if people were looking at me like I was crazy, I thought I was going to vomit. I miss you so damn much jack. do you understand that I started becoming suicidal again, for the past 4 days I havnt went to school I stayed in my bed with a bottle of pills on my nightstand asking myself "should I do it? ". then I thought about you, you were the one stopping me I thought that you might comeback to me maybe. just maybe. You still gave me hope jack, everything has changed I miss running into your arms kissing you uncontrollably squeezing you tight that our bodies connected to one, I wanna go and talk to you about everything and just ask you why? but I can never get the nerve to actually aproch you. Everytime I see you which is kinda rare I want to fall to the ground and lie there in a ball and cry, but I can't I barely have spoken to my parents my brothers coming home from college for my birthday which is kinda exciting I guess I'm just dreading the day to my birthday becuase I have to do some sort of interaction with my 'family' they dont even really care. The only thing thats going to be on my mind is you, your not going to be there to wish me a happy birthday. All I want is you every inch of you. I got a call from matt hes coming to see me I havnt seen matt in months and out of all the other boys we always connected we became bestfriends you always got jealous, I thought it was the most adorablest thing ever, anyways matt was there for me now that hes coming I might actually be happy for once in weeks

well im going to try to sleep, its like 2am but I can't sleep with you always on my mind

sincerely, Nichole