The Price of Beauty

eleven | lilac rose that she chose

n o t e s   o f   d e d i c a t i o n

xoxosimplicity, you are one of the most brilliant writers i've met that's so inspirational even though you're new! good luck and take some hugs with you. - mira

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"If you want to conquer fear, don't sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy." ― Dale Carnegie

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I CAN FEEL THE LIGHT HOVERING over my eyelids which i can't open – they're so heavy, almost as if someone put two full bags of water on them. i could vaguely hear, yet not comprehend, quiet talking-on-the-phone of a friendly unfamiliar voice.

it took a few seconds for me to start feeling, as if all my energy was from my consciousness and i had to move it slowly towards my limbs, which ached, but i felt like i was laying on something, something was supporting me, with a silky texture.

"...yes, of course." i heard the person say on the phone inaudibly, "...no, we'll keep her here for inspection... she'll be okay... yes... fine...don't worry..."

i slowly open my eyes, mentally imagining the two bags of water being lifted slowly and put away to try to drive up any energy i had left to do so. turning my throbbing head to my right slightly, i see a wall and turn the other side, and realised that this looked like a school nurse room.

confused, i try to recapture my last moments, remembering someone who called me a whore. as i tried to conjure the person's face, something hit me from inside, like a pang, yet i didn't know why it hurt. i scrunched up uncomfortably against the silk mattress i was lying on at the weird sense of tranquillity i felt towards the situation.

the person who was sitting on the adjustable chair on my left turned around, and realised that i was awake.

"oops! something just came up, can i get back to you in ten minutes?" she paused. "yes. thank you."

she put down the phone and smiled at me kindly. "how are you doing, claire?"

i open my mouth, but i realise that my lips were chapped and stuck together. she laughs as i lick my lips and reply, "fine...? what happened to me?"

"you blacked out in front of your locker, honey. someone took you here anonymously," she said.

"i presume i got this place right then. you're the nurse and... this is the nurse's room..." i reach up to my temple and rub the headache i had. "why did i black out?"

"we're not really sure, but you seemed to have had a breathing-mechanism related problem. by the way, i'm nurse delia... wait, do you have asthma? did you have an inhaler in hand?"

"no... i don't have asthma." i frown. this was really weird, i wonder what had triggered me to react so badly.

"well, are you feeling better now? your dad is coming to pick you up at quarter past."

i lie my head back in my original position and say, "that sounds good."

+

i laid on my bedroom floor with my legs up, completing my math homework. my headache finally disappeared to almost nothing after dad drove me home, picked me up and put me to bed.

i could hear someone opening my door gently and i ask without notice, "hi, what's up?" as i clicked at my calculator, wanting to finish this equation before i fully concentrated on the conversation before me.