A/N (Author's Note): Hey there you guyssss.
Song for this chapter is Highway Don't Care by Tim Mcgraw ft. Taylor Swift & Keith Urban
I recommend listening to the song while reading!
Hope you enjoy :)
x~~~
It was hard to think of anything other than the dark and lonely thoughts in my head. It's hard because all the rain pouring on my windshield is making me dizzy and the fucking song playing on the radio is making me feel more depressed.
It wasn't that I wasn't expecting the break-up, I just wasn't expecting it to happen over a 27-second phone call. I look at the cellphone on the shotgun seat of my Chevy and all I could think about was Jay's jet black hair and how much I loved it when he stared at me with those hazel eyes.
It's so fucking twisted, you know. This whole "love" thing. Like really? You fall in love and you literally fall. You crash to the ground and I swear to God all your bones break. You're fucking shattered but you don't notice because you've got this beautiful boy whispering in your ear and kissing your neck and nothing else matters. And then he leaves and suddenly you feel it. You feel everything. And you're hysterically crying in your car at 4 in the morning in some empty parking lot because it's the only place that doesn't taste like him and you're trying to hold your bones together but his old t-shirts don't work as a cast, wrapping them around your chest won't fix the craters in your ribs. Nothing stops the aching.
-----
I take a left turn and continue down the road. Twenty agonizing minutes later, I arrive at my home.
I get out of the car and was greeted by the warm summer wind.
Even though it was late in the evening, I can still feel the heat of the afternoon earlier.
----
The house was made warm by the fireplace and I was suddenly thankful that my maids always know what to make me feel better after a stressful day at work.
I go to the dining room and as expected, dinner was on the table and Blair was sitting on one of the chairs.
Wait. Blair?!
"Evening, Tay. So... why the face?" Blair said.
"Why are you here?"
"Wow. So much for being polite."
I rolled my eyes and said, "Entering someone's without their permission is never polite. And to answer your question, my face is still the way it is: sad and mourning."
She raises one blonde eyebrow. "You two broke up, didn't you?"
"Yes. Your wishes have been granted. Ugh."
"He was never good for you. He'd been a heartbreaker for as long as I can remember and I told you that because I'm your sister and I didn't want you to get hurt. But did you listen? Of course you didn't. You never do. Let me tell you something: Unless it's mad, passionate, or extraordinary love, it's a waste of your time. There are too many mediocre things in life; love shouldn't be one of them. You should just get over it," Blair said.
"It happened yesterday not 3 months ago. You know what, whatever. It's 10 in the evening. I'm going to bed."
"Aren't you gonna eat your dinner?"
"No. I lost my appetite. You can eat it if you want. And you should also go home. Your boyfriend will probably worry about you. Don't forget to lock the doors."
"Will do," she replied.
----
I sit on my bed and pick up my sketchbook and pencil. I start to draw the outline of the dress. A red halter dress tight around the bust up to the waist with the rest of the skirt flowing freely.
I rub my eyes with the back of my hand and put down the sketchbook and the pencil.
I look around my room. The white walls. The white furniture. I look up at the framed picture of a quote on my wall.
HAPPINESS WILL FIND YOU WHEN YOU STOP HIDING. -xxxx
I smile. It's a beautiful quote and it's probably made by an inspired person with no problems whose life is perfect.
I don't think they realize how sleepless nights can affect you. Or how overthinking slowly kills you. I don't think they know how it can turn your mind into thoughts you wish weren't yours.
Happiness.
Happiness.
Happiness.
And with that one last thought on mind and a tear out of my eye, I fell asleep.
x~~~
A/N: Hoped you like that! It was hard writing this because I kept getting distracted but somehow I managed.
If you like it, go on and like it haha. And if you have time to comment, please do so.
Constructive criticism is always welcome :) xx
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