This Love

-1-

Tatum Grace slowly undid the straps on her sneakers the way she had seen Mommy do it dozens of times. Of course, Mommy did it a lot faster, but Tatum didn't want to ruin her new shoes. Mama had gotten them the day before, and Tatum had taken them out of the box this morning. So they were brand new. Mommy always said you had to keep brand new stuff looking brand new for the first three days. After that, you didn't have to be super duper careful.

She cautiously tugged them off her feet and pulled her socks off too. She didn't like it when her socks got dirty. She tucked them into her shoes and set them to the side. She eyed the giant lake of mud settled in the corner of the fenced off backyard. Licking her lips with the very tip of her tongue, she clenched her fists and her eyes. She bent her knees just enough and sprung up.

SPLAT!

A giggle erupted from her throat. She squealed and jumped again. She stamped her bare feet against the slick, rippling surface and wiggled her toes in the soaked grass beneath the dirt-stained water.

She scampered to the edge and leaned to get a good look at her shoes. She smiled when they were still as clean as they were this morning. She spun around and walked back to the center of the puddle, kicking the mud as she went. She felt droplets of it hit her skin and the rest of her clothes, but she didn't care much.

That was until, "Ms. Tatum Grace, that best not be you in that mud galore."

Tatum's head shot up, her eyes wide with excitement despite her Mama's disapproving tone. "Mama!" She hurried to greet her. She ran across the yard and up the porch steps even though she wasn't supposed to. Even though Tatum was all icky and needed a bath, Mama still hugged her and didn't even complain when some of the mud stained her white shirt beneath her blazer. Mommy would make a fuss. She always got stuck doing the wash. Pressed against her mother's chest, she gave a muffled greeting, "Hi, Mama."

"Hello, babygirl." Mama stroked her head. "You look a mess."

Tatum pulled away and stood up straight. "I am a mess," she corrected cheekily.

Mama had that knowing smirk on her face. "Does mommy know you're out here?"

Tatum looked down at her bare feet and wiggled her toes. She murmured, drawing out the words guiltily. "I didn' tells her, but-but. . ." Tatum smiled and tilted her head. "I didn' think 'bout it. I was excited."

"Mhmm." Mama's southern drawl peaked out. Her hands rested on her hips. "You know you're supposed to ask to leave the house." Tatum tried to read how mad she was.

Mad didn't always match how much trouble she was in.

She pouted. "Am I in trouble?"

Mama offered her hand, and Tatum took it without hesitation. Mama asked, "Well, what do you make of our little predicament, young lady?"

Tatum swung their hands back and forth, following her mama to the big sliding glass doors. She looked at the floor in deep concentration. It was rare that her mama asked her if she thought she was in trouble. She usually just told her. Mommy was the one who usually asked. She glanced at Mama hesitantly. "M'not supposed to go outside withouts asking you or Mommy first," she murmured. She jumped when she remembered what had occurred before she went on her adventure. "But I-I tried to finds her! I swear, Mama! I couldn't, and I really, really wanted to play before it got dark." The sun was indeed starting to go down.

Her mama took in all her words. Tatum could tell because she paused and nodded. "Hmm, but not being able to find Mommy is not an excuse to disobey the rules. Especially since the rules are to keep you safe." Mama used her other hand to tickle her side. Tatum giggled and wriggled away, but never tried to unweave their fingers. "I don't think Mommy would want you any less safe because you couldn't find her. Mommy would want you to be more safe. Don't you think?"

Tatum bit her lip. She hadn't thought about it like that.

Mama sighed and knelt down so they were eye to eye. "I'm not mad, Tatum Grace, and neither is Mommy. But she was very worried when I got home and you weren't there to greet me. She couldn't find you."

"Oh," was all Tatum could manage, feeling her heart grow heavy with guilt. Tears sprang to her eyes. "I didn't means to make Mommy worry, Mama. I promise, I didn't!"

Mama scooped her into her arms. Sniffling, Tatum gripped onto her for dear life.

"I know, my baby, but even if you don't mean to make someone feel a certain way, they may still feel that way. That's why you have to think about how other's will feel when you do something. Does that make sense, baby?"

Tatum nodded and buried her tear-stained face into the crook of Mama's neck. She heard the sliding door open and shut. "Isa, what did you do to my baby?"

Tatum knew Mama rolled her eyes at Mommy even though she couldn't see it. "We just had a talk. I didn't punish her yet or anything."

Yet?

With that reminder, Mommy prompted, "Tatum Grace, please look at me."

Reluctantly, Tatum lifted her head and rubbed the tears out of her eyes. "I-I'm s-sorry, Mommy," she hiccuped.

"I know, baby. I know you didn't mean to, but you really made me worry sweetheart." Mommy sighed and kissed her forehead. There was a pause and then Mommy said, "Your Mama, and I agree that you need a little reminder about a certain rule. Do you know what that rule is?"

"M'supposed to ask to go outs."

Mommy hummed. "And do you know why we have that rule?"

"'Cause you worry."

Mama chuckled, her chest vibrating against her.

Mommy brushed the hair out of her face. "I worry because I want to keep my baby safe. And I can't do that when I don't know where she is. Does that make sense, sweetheart?"

She nodded.

Mommy smiled and kissed her forehead. "I think we'll get your notebook out."

She whined but didn't complain. She was washed off with a hose and given freshly dried clothes before being seated at the kitchen table. Mama gave her her notebook, a pencil, and a sentence.

Tatum put her pencil tip to the paper and started writing. Three sentences later, she glanced up again. She smiled softly at the sight of her Mama cooking with Mommy wrapped around her waist. Even though she was being punished, she felt good. She felt loved. She felt safe.

Everything just felt right.