abstraction|h.s.

i remember how we met

✧✦✧

it was something from a movie scene, seeing you from across the room during a crowded, loud party. your eyes didn't leave the cup in your hand that consumed every ounce of attention you possessed.

there he was; your boyfriend. ignoring your very presence despite his arm being draped around your shoulders. i didn't understand how he found whatever conversation he was engaging in more interesting than you. when i would catch you opening your mouth to say something, you were shot down and slumped your shoulders that were weighed down by his heavy arm.

you deserved so much better then, and you definitely did during our time together.

maybe that's why you never said anything with me. maybe you were so used to being shot down you completely locked your true thoughts up. i wanted you to look up so badly. i wanted to see your honey brown eyes spark up the dim room.

i saw it happen. the fight that stemmed from a physical fight. he was drunk, it was clear in the way he held himself up which seemed to be hardly at all considering you had evidently become his crutch. the guy who bumped into you two was drunk as well. it wasn't a very good combination; two drunk hotheads with big egos. when your boyfriend had the other guy pinned to the filthy floor you tried to get him off and gently approached him. instead of complying he shoved you away. sure, his other friends helped you off of the sticky and littered ground, but you quickly went off to find the bathroom.

your boyfriend was no good for you. i had seen him at many other parties, sometimes engaging in small conversation. i had seen you and him one other time at a party, but you were more vibrant. the other times when he showed up without you, he left with other girls. he was no good for you, but i suppose you could say the same about me.

i stepped outside. it was thirty minutes of making small talk with a guy who was having a smoke when i felt a harsh nudge. you were in tears, trying to run off.

i chased after you. it was late at a party at someone's cabin in the middle of the woods, and you were vulnerable. i only had good intentions, and couldn't let you find your own way home at one in the morning.

we went to the lake. you needed to leave the loud music and swaying bodies to breathe air that wasn't filled with the exhaled fumes of cigarettes or blunts.

"throw this rock as hard as you can," i handed you a stone and pointed at the body of water that captured the refection of the moonlight in a delicate way similar to the reflection of the moon in your eyes.

"he's an asshole. shouldn't be crying over a boy that doesn't appreciate you." you didn't even toss it ten feet in front of us and burst into an embarrassed laughter and covered your mouth with your hand to shield your smile.

interesting that i spoke the advice that you should have taken seriously when it came around to me.

darling, you were always stunning, but you never did have a throwing arm.

what a shame it was that you didn't have many friends, but i so desperately wanted to get know you. if you had friends when we got to know each other, perhaps they would have told you to stay away. but instead we talked the night away, and when i dropped you off i got your number out of you.

i remember meeting you at the party and saving you from a lonely night. i'm sorry for chasing after you and bringing you nothing but an aching sorrow. had i known our future, i would have called you a cab to become just another person at random parties.