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you had been putting off the inevitable break up between you and your boyfriend, and i hated seeing you work yourself up over it. "end it. you're making yourself miserable. set yourself free." it's funny how i spoke the words that would later apply to me so perfectly years in advance. perhaps history repeats itself.
alas, you asked me to drive you to his house because doing it in person was something you felt was appropriate. quite mature of you, i think.
i watched as you knocked on his door and crossed your arms uncomfortably across your chest. maybe you were beginning to regret your decision, i could see it in the brief glance you took at me sitting in the car. i tried to offer a reassuring smile, but i had a bad feeling about the entire scenario.
as he stood before you while your lips moved to, what i'm assuming, end it with him, i saw the anger in his eyes. and then he grabbed your arm, and you winced because he was holding onto you like you were a toy. then the anger began to rise in my own eyes, so i slammed the car door and made my way over shouting his name.
he was an asshole and at first gave off an expression of confusion at my presence, but then he couldn't help but smirk. he released your arm, but quickly released vile words to you and about you. i wanted to see red in the form of blood dripping from his face, so i clocked him right in his nose and guided you away with my arm around your shoulder.
darling, seeing what you had to deal with up close infuriated me and i lost my self control because when it came to you, i would go through hell to protect you. i'm not entirely sure when that changed.
my knuckles were red, but they didn't hurt because i was still numb with fury. however, you somehow managed to convince me inside your house and placed a bag of frozen peas on my hand.
i had to apologize for my behavior because it was completely out of character for me. however, i seemed to have lost my character entirely over the years, and for that i am eternally remorseful.
i stayed and we started to watch some movies, but somewhere along the way we fell asleep. i was surprised to see your mother standing in front of us when i woke up with a curious look on her face. it was a bit intimidating because i wasn't sure how she would react, but she seemed to be more excited that you had someone over instead of the bruises on my knuckles or the tattoos on my arms.
i stayed for dinner, and at first you seemed unsure of my company for the evening, but soon you warmed up to it as your mother and i engaged in light conversation. she always seemed to like me.
you were my best friend. one afternoon we sat on the swings at the park by my house because the weather was nicer outside, and when i told you how important you had become to me you seemed shocked.
out of all of the people i had known, you seemed to understand me the best. i think you had a knack for earning people's trust, and perhaps i did as well although it wasn't deserved.
you were the first person i embraces into my life with ease. with other people i kept a safe distance, but with you, i lost all desire to create a safe space for myself.
the beginning is always the best because everything is new and exciting. it was easily my favorite part because i hadn't yet tainted the relationship we started to build.
